To pimp your ride like Santa’s sleigh, print this list, tear off this top paragraph, then leave the rest on your lady’s pillow. Later, mention that you’re missing a DailyXY story you’d printed up: “Have you seen it, honey? And, by the way, have you lost weight?” Start tearing — and happy motoring, Canada!
For our lady readers: The quickest way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach — it’s through his passenger door. Here’s a list of gifts for his car, rated by value from lowest to highest. Unless otherwise indicated, all gift pricing is in (sometimes adjusted) Canadian dollars; no pricing includes S&H fees.
If you’re early into the relationship (or he’s well into the doghouse)…
Don’t get him a GPS — that’s so 2006. We recommend its low-tech cousin: a map. There’s something so tactile and marvelous about paper. A map doesn’t run out of batteries, or butcher French street names in a silly Australian accent; it simply rests in his glove compartment until needed. (And, ladies, you can outline your next escape to some stifling country B&B with it.) From $5.95
Cold hands don’t mean he’s afraid to commit.
Frigid fingertips do mean that you get a shock on your thighs when you ride shotgun. Do both of you a favour: get him a heated ice scraper. Part James Bond, part Doug McKenzie, it comes complete with light and telescopic handle. Mother always said: melt his windshield, melt his heart. $14.95
Don’t buy him breath mints — just take his breath away.
It’s not a breathalyzer. It’s the keys to his friends’ sweetest rides. How it works: Tell your guy to stop drinking by 11pm the next time he’s out with the boys. That way he’s legal by last call, which he buys for his buddy with the best ride. Said buddy subsequently blows over and produces the keys. You get a very grateful and, bonus, not sloppy bedfellow half an hour later, plus a sweet ride to brunch next morning. $39.99
Real men have steel wheels (no, not the Rolling Stones album).
Fair enough: He won’t need tire chains in the city very much. But he’ll feel like the paragon of masculinity hearing them rattle and roll around in the trunk all winter. Plus, knowing you bought them will make it easier for him to broach the subject of fur handcuffs. Remember: Valentine’s is just around the corner. From $69.95
If you’re well into the relationship (or you actually have a doghouse)…
Get him a dog! What’s that got to do with his car? He can stick his head out the window in traffic! So can the dog!! (If it’s a dog that sheds, out the window of your car, ladies.) Look: Dogs are great for car owners. They don’t get jealous or maudlin on New Year’s Eve and throw up on the dashboard. Purebreeds start at $800.
BONUS GIFT IDEA, just because it’s the holidays: Warm & Cosby
Want him to wear that awful sweater with the reindeer? Get him this car-care gift basket and all is forgiven. $70.99
Image courtesy of Stephan Poff.