Driving to the Liquor Store, Part 4: 2019 Acura RDX Elite

At 4743.6mm long and 1900 mm wide, the 2019 Acura RDX Elite is a big cat to drive to places like the liquor store in the middle of the city or now, as of the week before I tested it here in Ontario, the pot store.

Of course, those lengths by width numbers mean little to anyone here in Ontario. First, a hefty percentage of the population comfortable enough to shop Acura was schooled before our conversion to metric. Next, the younger rest of us were raised in the new math; we’re not sure what those dimensions mean but can articulate how we feel about them.

For some clichéd reason, most guys’ magazines default to explaining big sizes with comparisons to football fields. Example? Q: How big is the universe? A: Imagine infinity football fields.

The RDX is about the size of 0.018 of a football field. Which doesn’t sound like much unless you live in the centre of a city and your parking space is about the size of a postage stamp (0.00018 of a football field).

Oops! That width measurement of 1900mm is with mirrors FOLDED! Sorry.

Hmmm. Ever notice the Acura logo is what the Honda logo would look like if wedged into too narrow a space? This is the stuff you think about while negotiating traffic passages between construction sites. And you deserve a drink!

But first you have to get to the liquor store and, unfortunately, it’s Playoff Night in Canada! Good luck getting 2km from home and back in under 40 minutes. Till then, what distractions does this big cat offer?

First, there is that pleasantly hearty engine.

It’s 2.0-litre, 16-valve, direct Injection, turbocharged 4-cylinder. And what do thosenumbers mean in terms of football fields? There was once a time when 4 cylinders meant anemic debate-society members levels of athleticism, but in this age of steroids, it’s a fresh-outta-college fullback who can sprint from zero to the next traffic light faster than you need. Which is 1 to 100kph in about 6.5 seconds. “Super handling” all-wheel drive (SH-AWD) lets you use its powers of gription for good. With a curb weight of 1,834kg, that’s tight. While we’re on football, Tom Brady weighs 102kg. Therefore, you’d be driving nearly 18 Toms Brady to the liquor store. Don’t worry. He doesn’t drink much.

You can paddle through 10 speeds but why bother? Turbo lag isn’t noticeable and you’ve trained your foot on this regular journey you know intimately. Mind, this engine prefers single malt, so keep that in mind (and foot). The government-sanctioned fuel efficiency numbers are 11.08 L/100km in the city, 8.6 on the highway, and 9.9 combined. And your author “could stop drinking anytime.” Best of luck with the frustrating traffic and suicide-bomber drivers this city breeds.

Ah! We’re halfway to the liquor store, having passed the luxury-living-of-tomorrow hole in the ground which used to be a fortune cookie factory and is now temporary home to truckers who block commuters for a living. They’re aided by gormless trolls holding reversible signs that appropriately read “Slow”.

Anyway, text any last-minute orders now because we’ll be there in under five. What else should we talk about till then? Well, we mentioned super handling. For the super lazy, there’s one-touch turn signalling, remote start and cap-less fueling, among other perks that, once sampled, become essentials in the liquor cabinet. But let’s lower your blood pressure a tad.

Inside, the RDX Elite is an oasis of peace.

Between the Apple CarPlay, Bluetooth handsfree tech, wi-fi hotspot and rear USB ports, you never have to talk to your passengers. Active noise control and an acoustic windshield minimize the intrusions from the world outside and beneath the hood. So, you can calmly float amid the sonic dimensionality of the ELS Studio Premium Audio System and its twelve speakers on heated leather everything. The auto-dimming rearview mirror dampens the blinding high beams the cement truck driver lasered in response to your manual observation of his selfish unwillingness to share the road.

Ah, we’ve arrived. Tonight, we’ll salute our local hockey club, perennial disappointments that they are, with some overpriced sugary bourbon that will take us to delightful heights but leaves us feeling used and sore after the ride.

2019 Acura RDS Elite $52,196 includes $2,206 freight.

 

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