There are many times the modern male will be tempted to lawyer up: When your buddies say the Shareholders’ Agreement is “standard” when that high school friend says he probably shouldn’t have given you that stock tip, and when you arrive home to find your key no longer works.
With a divorce, you generally want to lawyer up because you need information and want to protect yourself. But how do you protect yourself from lawyers – the people who will take your money to help you? Here are a few pointers:
1. If you need a therapist, hire a therapist. Lawyers sell time, not validation.
2. Compare the value of what you are discussing with the fees you are racking up in your mind before you raise a point.
3. Keep notes on your time spent in meetings or in communication with your lawyer.
4. Use budgets to achieve each stage in your discussions, and keep constant track of the hours being logged.
5. Ask for advice and follow it. Don’t let anger motivate you. Anger is an aphrodisiac to a family lawyer.
6. Don’t get into letting your spleen be vented with angry lawyer letters. It’s hard to put out a fire with a pissing match.
7. Don’t use the hiring of a lawyer as an excuse not to face up to things. Be realistic, self-aware and honest about disclosure.
Donated by a divorced lawyer who is not a divorce lawyer.
