On the 8th Day, God Created Agribusiness

By our estimate, it’s been over 2.3 weeks since the US went to pieces over something, so we’re long overdue for this. Dodge’s “God Made a Farmer” Super Bowl ad has proven to be a bit controversial. Don’t remember it? Here you go:

[youtube width=”640″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sillEgUHGC4[/youtube]

Well, in addition to making old-timey, hay-baling farmhands of yesteryear, God also makes factory farms. And Mexicans.

Inspiring though Paul Harvey’s words in the original commercial were, they were written in 1978. Below is the text of Funny of Die’s spoof, which brings us up to speed:

And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said I need a caretaker. So God made a farmer.
And back when America was founded, 90% of the population were farmers. But now it’s less than 1%. So God made a factory farm.
And then God wanted to maximize yield, so he made pesticides and herbicides. And he made genetically modified seeds that are resistant to those chemicals. And God let Monsanto patent those seeds.
And God said: “Sometimes agribusiness grows crops that no one needs, but they still want to get paid.” So God made farm subsidies.
And then God noticed, “Hmmm, there sure is a massive corn surplus out there.” And so God made high fructose corn syrup. And then God said: “Well, now we’ve got to do something with all this corn syrup.” So God made Mountain Dew. And Cookie Crisps. And Gushers.
And then God said: “Ok, now it just seems like Americans aren’t willing to do farm labor anymore.” So God made Mexicans.
And God said: “Granted, the American agricultural industry has evolved into a manufacturing giant that’s more like Walmart than a mom-and-pop store. And it’s backed by powerful interest groups that spend hundreds of millions lobbying Congress. But despite all that, the word ‘farmer’ still evokes salt of the earth, American Gothic imagery. And, from a marketing standpoint, that would be a helpful thing to associate with an automaker that nearly went bankrupt due to mismanagement.
So God made this commercial.


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