Do We Have a Future Together?

“I’m thinking of moving to Mongolia,” she says. “Do you think I should?” She’s not really asking you for advice; she’s trying to gauge the level of your commitment. The question is a euphemism for “Do we have a future together?” Here’s the truth about four other seemingly innocent questions.

What do you want to do this weekend? Translation: “What are we doing this weekend?” If you don’t want to spend it together, say you’re going to a World of Warcraft conference. But remember: This is a temporary solution.

Where is this relationship going? It doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants it to be serious; she may be hoping that you don’t think it’s serious. So be honest: If you’re not sure, say so. If you have high hopes, tell her. And if you’re just in it for sex, say it’s just for fun.

I love you. No question mark, but you had better believe she expects an answer. Ignore it and you risk a serious Q&A period (a.k.a., “The Talk”). Saying “I love you too” without meaning it equals big trouble. Saying “I care for you,” may buy time, but be sure to add that you want to say it back when you know for sure.

How many kids do you want to have? “Never thought about it,” is fine if you’re not sure. But do not engage in this conversation – even in a jokey way – until you are truly ready.

Image courtesy of blmurch.

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