Getting Her to Watch

Perhaps it’s because so many guys grow up watching porn that they can more easily accept it as a fact of life. More likely, because they don’t feel pressure to live up to the fantasy women in these videos, men have a much less politicized relationship with it. Women, on the other hand, have spent so many years feeling objectified and offended by porn (and if we didn’t, there are plenty of social forces at work to make us think we should), that yes, we’re a little sensitive about it.

Lucky for you, some of us are starting to relax and admit that sometimes we like a little visual stimulus too. And we’re starting to pipe up about what we like and don’t like in our porn. Chanelle Gallant, of the female-positive sex store Good For Her (at Harbord near Bathurst), says that there’s no question more and more women, particularly young women, are showing an interest and actually renting porn from the store. This is why the store sponsored a Feminist Porn Awards gala for this first time this year.

Unfortunately, because the industry has been focused for years on getting guys off, they’re a little slow on the uptake in catering to female sexuality. Catering to women doesn’t mean tossing in some elaborate costumes and a plot. Women want to see stuff that gets us off – that is, hot guys and hot sex that goes beyond the “go down on him, go down on her, do it missionary, do it doggie style, come on her face” script. It doesn’t have to be mushy and romantic – although professional lighting is a plus. We also prefer it when the women actually get off rather than faking it.

It can still be tricky getting her on board. Showing up on her doorstep with a bouquet of porn is probably not the best way to introduce the idea unless you’ve already talked about it and she’s game. Going to the video store together and picking out some titles you’re both game to try, might be a better way to go.

Chanelle Gallant recommends, in particular, the high-end production houses. “Our most popular sellers recently, among women have been The Scottish Love Knot (a Private film), Dreamquest, by director Brad Armstrong, The Collector, also by Armstrong, and Wild Thing (a Wicked film).” She also finds that women like independent porn producers, such as Comstock films.

Where to rent/buy good porn:

Come As You Are (701 Queen St. W.)
Good For Her (175 Harbord)

Couples-friendly guides:
The Good Vibrations Guide to Adult Videos, by Cathy Winks (
The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Violet Blue (

Directors she might like:

Andrew Blake (high-fashion porn)
Paul Thomas (playful, lavish productions & costumes)
Michael Ninn, (harder edged than Blake, more focus on fetish)
John Leslie (well shot, gritty)
Tristan Taormino (Village Voice sex columnists turned pornographer, her videos focus on anal sex)
Candida Royalle (, uses real couples, no money shots)

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