Picking Up on Facebook

My wingman called me up late last night. “So is there any protocol to contact a cute girl on Facebook?” he asked.

Turns out, he’s there to score. Why didn’t I think of that? According to this dubious, but probably not far off the mark source, the number of men who go on Facebook to pick up or date is more than double the number of women who do the same. For a woman, social networking on Facebook is exactly that: reading what my friends are up to, who said what to whom, and who’s doing what when. It’s a natural extension of the phone call to my tapped-in girlfriend.

So when my girlfriend messages me to tell me that a guy who’s on my Facebook friends list contacted her, and she wanted to know if he was kosher, it got me thinking. Perhaps someone needs to publish a Facebook dating protocol for us single and hopefuls. Here is some basic Facebook pick-up etiquette:

Girl on another girl friend’s list: Do not, I command you, do not contact her without informing your girl friend first. A woman must always be in the know. Plus, she can save you a whole lot of heartache by giving you the lowdown on this femme fatale you’re eyeing. Or she could be jealous. If she’s a good friend, she’ll message the girl on your behalf and smooth out an intro for you. This works brilliantly when there’s one degree of separation.

What if it’s more than one degree? This makes things a little complicated, but not impossible if you’re that floored by her teensy profile pic. Just send her a sweet message saying that you’re a friend of a friend, and you happened to see her profile picture and thought she looked compelling (Don’t use abhorrent words like “cute,” “hot,” or “sexy”).

Do unto others: If a buddy contacts you saying that he’s (she’s) interested in one of your friends and wants an intro, take a gander her at his or her list and see if there’s anyone you’re interested in hitting up. Ask for an intro in exchange.

Do not stalk: Don’t leave comments on a classy girl’s photos, posts, or wall if you don’t know her. Message her privately and save her the embarrassment of having her friends ask her who this person is when she isn’t ready to tell.

Advertise yourself: I don’t mean how you’re dying to score, but more about what a rock-solid, puppy-loving, funny, charming, intelligent, The Notebook-watching, The Prophet-reading guy you are.

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