Do silly marketing gimmicks (see fig. 1, fig. 2) have no effect on you? Is buying a smartphone more a matter of utility than crippling social anxiety? Check out this guide for a thorough, fan-boy-free look at what phone you should buy. Unfortunately, no one can help you with the fan-boy in your life… may we suggest a Taser?
[Detailed smartphone comparison via Ars Technica]