Annoyed about Valentine’s day, sick of the bar scene, and disappointed with online dating? There is another way: matchmaking. We spoke to certified matchmaker Natacha Noël of the Absolute Bachelor Club to better understand what modern matchmaking is, how it works, and how it can help.
Could you briefly tell us what a matchmaker is and does?
A matchmaker is someone who makes introductions based on a variety of predefined criteria requested by a client to meet specific relationship goals.
How does one get certified as a matchmaker?
One can get certified by the Matchmaking Institute in New York City, but the profession itself does not require certification.
What are the benefits of a matchmaker over online dating, the bar scene, or setups by well-meaning friends and family?
A matchmaker has a very large network of screened singles who have been met personally to pull from. Finding a person on your own can be challenging depending on your personal circumstances i.e. social life, age group, line of work, leisure activities… We are creatures of habits and it becomes difficult to broaden our circles of friends and places we attend for various daily activities. We have certain odds to meet that someone we’re looking for; add to this your readiness to receive love, personal growth, emotional availability, luck, courage to make it known to someone that you are interested in them. Lastly, your own ability to recognize a good partner will impact who you will choose to enter a relationship with. In the end, it’s all about odds. A matchmaker will significantly increase yours to find that special someone and coach you through the process. Help you break your dating patterns and get you directly to someone who will share your values, lifestyle, goals and be in the right mindset to develop a long lasting relationship with you.
A lot of dating sites seem to try and match people up on the basis of similar interests, for example, I’m into indie music and Mexican food, so the site’s algorithm shows me matches who are also into indie music and Mexican food. Is choosing partners by interest a smart way to date?
As a matchmaker, I avoid starting my matches with similar interests and hobbies. I prefer to match my clients based on aligned values, lifestyle, character traits and believe it or not physical attraction is the deal sealer in many cases. Many of my clients tell me it really doesn’t matter if they don’t share all activities with their partner. From time to time, someone’s lifestyle is based on a specific activity or sport and is looking for someone to share that with and we would then begin our search with that in mind.
What qualities are most important for compatibility?
There are no qualities that are optimal for compatibility. It’s having aligned values that make two individuals compatible. If you have work as your most important value and your partner has it fifth in importance on their list, you may have conflicts following certain choices made by either people. Compromise is key in any relationship. If you are with a partner who makes choices in congruence with your beliefs, you have a keeper.
How do you match people up?
My company prides itself on making matches that please my clients on both physical attraction and compatibility. We’ll search our database for matches based on age range, physical description (our clients show us pictures of individuals they are attracted to) and we look at character traits, personality tests and lifestyle. We make introductions and our clients have final say on accepting the match.
Photo courtesy of Mathieu Charrois.