So you go out on a date and everything seemed to go well, yet a second date never materializes. And you’re left saying to yourself, “Was it something I said? Was it something I wore? Was it something I did?”
Well, guys, the answer is: YES, YES, and YES!
Thus, here’s our Top Seven list of what not to do on a date:
If you embrace the mullet, you may as well have a piece of straw hanging from your mouth. Put another way, take a gander at the headshots of the CEOs heading up Fortune 500 companies. You won’t find a single executive embracing a hairstyle that screams “Jerry Springer Show.”
Now, if you happen to be balding, you must embrace the design philosophy of less-is-more and completely shave your head. Bald is beautiful compared to the cousin of the mullet, the skullet, or the equally-appalling “poached egg” look.
Nothing screams fun-in-the-sun sexy more than a convertible. But if you plan to buy or rent a convertible to impress the opposite sex, steer clear of one particular ragtop: the new VW Beetle Convertible. This car is just way too feminine for a straight man to drive. Even its design elements scream “girlie-girl” such as those bubble-like fenders that suggest heaving breasts. And then there’s that dashboard that actually has a flower-holder. Dude, eschew that car!
Unless you’re in the Armed Forces and just back from a tour of duty, camouflage does not whisper “sexy”; rather, it screams “Unabomber.”
There’s only one place Hawaiian shirts work. Hawaii. Correction: Hawaiian shirts are too garish for Hawaii.
Even fancy designer sweatpants are essentially pajamas. Only two groups of people can get away with wearing pajamas in public: Infants and mental patients.
Some shoes guarantee there’ll never be a second date. For example, there’s that fashion cardinal sin known as socks with sandals, As well, avoid walking shoes with velcro fasteners. Do you really want to wear something that suggests you can’t tie a knot? Or that you can’t wait for that time in life in which you’ll score the Senior’s Discount at Denny’s?
We don’t care how much e-crap you’re lugging around. If you dare to wear a fanny-pack in 2017, it’s over, Johnny. Besides, all you need on a date is a driver’s license, a credit card and a wad of cash, all of which fits nicely into a single pocket.
In summary, there are so many other date-killers out there, including oversized novelty belt buckles, excessive body piercings, girly-girl sunglasses, bandanas, Bill Cosby-style multi-coloured sweaters, bling-bling jewellery, and finally, the dreaded Plumber Pants look — jeans that sag so much it appears the moon has come out early.
If any of these elements are part of your daily ensemble, we fear it may indeed already be too late.