This Father’s Day, Oscar Mayer is promoting this line: “when words aren’t enough, say it with bacon”, by which they mean you should send your dad a $22 jewellery box containing one package of bacon and a money clip.
Of course, if you actually spend money on this, what you’re saying is, “Hey dad, you raised an idiot that’ll spend $22 on something every supermarket and most corner stores sell for $5”, or perhaps, “$5 worth of bacon and $17 worth of the world’s most pervasive dumb internet joke sounds like a great way to say ‘I love you’ to the man who taught me the value of a dollar.”
Why not cure some bacon for your dad, or at least get him his own bacon-making kit? Or buy him one of the hundreds of other things that would be better than a package of bacon wrapped in irony and just make him some bacon for breakfast on father’s day? That way, when you sit down with your dad for a post-breakfast Scotch, you can say, “Dad, you didn’t raise an idiot.”
Then show him this: