Ragweed is upon us, and don’t worry, we have a plan. Many plans. Our first plan is to take some Reactine, and then we’ll go from there.
Pop a REACTINE®
Know what’s handy? An over the counter, non-drowsy pill that can start to work in 20 minutes. Yeah, it’s REACTINE®. And it can be taken for quick relief of ragweed symptoms (such as hives, skin reactions, itchy red eyes, sneezing, or an itchy nose), or it can be taken daily during allergy season so your body can maintain and even level of antihistamines, giving continuous relief.
Know what? Summer sucks. Overrated. Hot. Buggy. Too many ice-cream covered children. Better just have a reverse-hibernation, say, from early August to late September.
Avoid Fresh Air
Well, maybe going outside won’t be too bad—so long as it’s in a car, to a mall, where everything is sealed. We’ll just live like astronauts. Who needs fresh air? It probably causes cancer. Or isn’t gluten-free, anyway.
Pay a Kid to Kill Your Ragweed
Know what? It’s our yard. We should enjoy it! But not suffer for it. We’ll show a neighbourhood kid what ragweed looks like, arm them with snippers and a pail, and let the little weed whacker loose. Hey, hard work does kids good!
Pay a Professional to Kill Ragweed
Okay, so the kid may have accidentally killed our hedge. And the neighbours rose bushes. And a mailbox. But that just means it’s time to shell out a few hundred bucks for a pro, right? It’s perfectly reasonable to spend hard-earned money on a glorified weed killer in order to spare a little hurt. Right? Right?
Okay. Fine. Enough is enough. We’re going to pick a damp morning, before the ragweed flowers. Wear long pants, long sleeves, gloves, goggles, the works. Yank it all out by the roots. Bag it immediately. Bag our clothes, too—don’t want to walk in the house wearing them. We can come back for them later. Shower immediately. Contemplate a victory . . . jig? Yeah, jig. That’ll work.
This post was sponsored by the makers of REACTINE®. Thoughts and opinions are my own.