How to Fight with Girls

Got a girlfriend who likes to fight? Getting tired of having to go twelve rounds with her every time you go out? Here are some tips that will help you to bring three types of scrappers to the mat for a time-out.

The Escalator
Like the name implies, this type of woman is going to take you for a ride. She’ll latch on to the smallest thing and then blow it up until it’s a profound diss that she cannot excuse.

Time-out Technique: Apologize. For anything. The words “I’m sorry” are like kryptonite to an Escalator. The trick is that the apology has to be sincere. Try to choose something related to the conflict, but failing that, “I’m sorry you’re upset” will also work.

The Silent Icicle
This type of woman does not know how to communicate when she’s angry. Instead, she goes deadly quiet, hoping you can read her mind and getting more PO’d each moment that your telepathy fails.

Time-out Technique: Ask her very simply what’s wrong, and if she’d like to talk about it. She may say no at first, but at least you’ve acknowledged her anger. Use concerned questions to chip away at her, and eventually you’ll get through.

The Blamer
This type of woman is unable to accept responsibility when things go wrong and needs someone to blame for how she’s feeling. Guess who?

Time-out Technique: The key here is to keep your own anger in check. Resist the impulse to counter-blame, by making sure that everything you say includes the word “I” instead of “You”. Eventually she’ll start to feel silly and come back to sit at the grown-ups’ table.

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