Real Men Don’t LOL

Are you seriously laughing out loud as you’re typing this? Because that’s what I imagine: You sitting at your keyboard laughing and laughing, your head thrown back in ecstasy because I wrote something remotely funny. Or not even funny. Lazy. Lame. But there you are: LOLing.

I don’t correspond with many men, and the ones I do correspond with don’t LOL. However, my friend K., who is currently online dating, tells me that there are hordes of men out there laughing out loud.

She is a nice person, so she says she won’t reject a guy based on this (LOLing), but she runs from emoticons and their stupid, smiley faces winking on the screen. Why put that in your sexy correspondence? It makes us think we’re talking to a giggly, dumb child. The online exchange is often the main exchange you’ll be having with a woman you’re trying to court, so don’t eff it up by OMGing, LOLing or ;)ing.

Here are three more communication minefields to avoid while chatting us up:

Pace Yourself
We understand that in the heat of the moment words get lost to the clever back-and-forth, and that’s cool. We’re only human. Nobody wants to sit there with their stupid tiny keyboard punching in proper words. But as you know, your iPhone will often try to figure this stuff out for you and if you don’t want the hilarity of making sloppy hoes for her instead of sloppy joes, slow your fingers just a notch.

Spelling is Important (Sometimes)
Though not at all important in instant communication (it may actually kill immediacy necessary to keep the banter fresh), but if you email, seriously. For some reason, lazy spelling makes women think you’re lazy everywhere. We’ll make exceptions for learning-disabled guys, but if you’re not learning-disabled, WTF?

More Dumb Acronyms
I’m sorry, but we just can’t take seriously a man who LOLs and OMGs. Think about it: Bond. OMG. James Bond. I’m not saying you need to be James Bond, but try to put some effort into your flirty writing.

Image courtesy of Stephan Geyer.

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