Recently, I went on a date with someone I met online. He was intelligent, creative, and charming in our email exchanges. Over the phone, fun enough to speak with the first time, but I slowly found myself replying in monosyllables as he monopolized the conversation. We finally met one evening, and in the course of things, he told me the very thing you complain of: that he was tired of meeting women who could only talk about themselves and had no curiosity about him. I found this ironic, considering I had hardly been able to get a word in edgewise the entire evening, and he knew almost nothing about me.
It’s not a woman thing. Talkers are people who talk, not people who listen. Some women have a natural tendency to talk a lot because it covers up nerves, and this is a less common occurrence amongst men, who, for some reason, have no problem sitting in complete silence in the midst of company for minutes at a time. For me, one of the most uncomfortable things on a first date is the pregnant pause in conversation.
If she’s interesting enough, try a second or a third date to find out the truth. Many people talk a lot because they have an immediate need to project themselves a certain way. The enigmas are the listeners – those who don’t talk at all even when given the stand. Don’t write off your chatterboxes too quickly.
On the other hand, if you see her eyes glaze over or shift around the room when the conversation turns to you, then you’re talking to yourself, and nobody’s home. If that’s the case, cut your losses and leave.
