Getting Around Those Tough Questions

There are certain questions that women ask but don’t really want to know the answer to. Your job? Answer such questions as diplomatically as possible. Lie if you have to.

The other Friday I went on a date with a charming bartender. After a couple of drinks, he said I was sweet because I didn’t complain once. Not like his ex.

“Is that why you broke up?” I asked.

Thing is, I didn’t really want to know. Sadly, my date was happy to answer. He went on a long, emotional rant about his ex’s shortcomings, like her prudishness and obsession with hygiene.

He should’ve just said, “It didn’t work out.” No details. Next subject. Instead, he looked petty and made me uncomfortable with too much detail. (Another date showed me a picture of his topless ex, which he kept, framed, under his bed.)

Here are two more questions that men shouldn’t answer truthfully:

“Do you think my friend XX is hotter than me?”

I’m an idiot to ask you that in the first place, but if I do, the only answer is: “You’re the hottest woman I know,” even if you’re dying to finally come clean and tell me that yes, she is! And that you have a crush on XX and that maybe we should have a threesome! (Yay. Shut up.)

My sister asked her boyfriend if he thought her nose was too big. His answer: “You could probably see it from an airplane.” He was joking but that was his last time impressing my sister with his stand-up skills. A classic of this category is, of course: “Do you think that my ass looks too big in those jeans?”

The answer is: “Are you kidding? I was just going to suggest going out for some cheesecake after we’re done shopping.”

We want you to be honest with us but keep your brutal honesty to yourself. You don’t really want us telling you if you’re really the first one we’ve done that thing with.


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