How to Be Friends with Your Ex

You shared your life and your bed — it’s only natural to want to stay connected to your ex. Here’s how to do it.

Set and Respect a Cooling-Off Period
It takes time to move on after a breakup and you shouldn’t see your ex until you’ve rounded the corner. Set a date for getting together or chatting on the phone — three months is a good minimum — and don’t contact her before, especially with late-night phone calls or ranting emails.

Don’t Rehash Your Breakup
When you spend time together, avoid the “What went wrong?” conversation. Surely this was covered extensively during the breakup. Talk about work, family, friends, travels, etc. Keep it light.

Don’t Offer (or Seek) Advice
It’s one thing to disclose that you’re seeing someone, but don’t ask your ex what to do when your new girl nags you about staying out too late with the boys. She doesn’t want to be reminded of the things you did to piss her off.

Forget About Ex-Sex
After a relationship, there’s no going back to friends with benefits. There are too many emotions involved. You have to make a choice: A final romp or a lasting friendship.

Limit Your Contact
Drinks once a week? No. Try brunch every couple of months. And opt for coffee over booze. If you contact her more than once a month, she’ll know you’re not over her.

Image courtesy of AlbeJTD.


5 thoughts on “How to Be Friends with Your Ex”

  1. Staying friends with your EX? This is just a bad idea. There is probably some natural rule that Alpha Males should just stay away from former girlfriends, especially if they have moved on with other serious relationships. There is always too much sexual tension involved that even THOR himself cannot fight off. Conquer new lands, not the old ones you have already left behind.

  2. Bahahaha!! People stay friends with their exes for one reason. They can’t let go. There’s nothing more to it. Sometimes it’s benign – most times, it’s a NIGHTMARE. Don’t do it man! Conquer other lands! LAND HO!

  3. A female wrote this article, so I now understand the angle. In natural law, it makes sense for e woman to stay friends, with past lovers, as any one of them can still turn into a provider. For men, if you expend any energy on conquered lands, you are wasting your resources and attention from new destinations, if you are still mulling over the past. Land Ho!!!

  4. The statement about”the reason for the break up was discussed, during the break up,” hmmm, usually as dudes, we never know that someone has broken up with us until they have. From “my” experiences in the past, maybe just being younger, the females never gave a reason and i was always wondering what happened, and that is what takes the long time accepting the break up. Don’t get me wrong, i move on, just more pained than if I had been told I suck at this or that.

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