It hit me today — actually, I should say that something nearly hit me, launching this revelation — that many cars are named in questionable taste. Some are thoroughly inappropriate. City driving is rarely relaxing but returning to the city by highway, late on a Sunday afternoon, can be an anxiety attack. Three hours ago, I was re-entering town in the Corolla I’m currently reviewing when a pick-up truck tried to sodomize me in it.
As I hurried out of the lane — he was doing upwards of up mach 3 — I read the passing word Dodge and realized that this was precisely what I was doing. Then I read Ram. Consider those two words. Each is an aggressive verb, both frightening when applied to tons of metal hurtling along at 150 km/h.
This near encounter unnerved me and I began looking at other car names in a new light. There are many questionable names on the road and they’re almost all made by American manufacturers, so you can’t blame it on translation. (Remember the Nova didn’t sell well in Mexico. It means “no go.”)
Cavalier — is this a good quality to advertise about your driving style? At least you’ve been warned.
Then there’s the Probe: It’s another one you don’t want to suddenly see appearing in your rearview mirror. And even though I own one, I’m starting to question how much I trust a vehicle that boasts of Escape.
Traffic is usually discussed in terms of flow. Torrent suggests violence in that flow.
Flex sounds like a challenge; so, of course, does Challenger. And you better think twice before cutting off the Avenger.
But there is hope.
While all of these cars were on the road today, some are no longer in production. In fact, it would appear the Americans have toned it down on the road as evidenced with the far more appropriate Focus.
And after a stressful afternoon imagining what hell may ensue on the road, you know what really has plenty of Allure? A Hummer.
Image courtesy of mawel.
