While it’s nothing new to point out that women don’t fit the high-maintenance stereotype or that guys tend to esteem yet rarely seek as life partners girls who can be “one of the boys,” finding what is by comparative definition a low-maintenance lady tends to be a tricky, elusive process. If that’s what you’re looking for, maybe you’re going about it the wrong way. If you’re the wine-and-dine type, or default to making large and lavish romantic gestures, the fact is, you might be too flash for your own good. A relationship with a woman who has more laid-back expectations demands that you chill, too. Here are some suggestions for how to keep your cool without losing it.
Drop the Namedropping
You may be accomplished and important (hey: her, too); still, a utilitarian woman does not want to hear about the latest boutique hotel you conferenced in, or the car service that’s got you on speed dial. If that’s your lifestyle, that’s cool, and there’s need to hide what you’ve got — just don’t go flaunting it. Modesty is its own six-figure sports coupe.
D.I.(X)Y.
Easygoing chicks tend to prefer creativity and thoughtfulness to the more typical get-it-on-credit approach. Instead of taking her to an expensive restaurant, offer to cook her dinner — a fancy dinner — or, suggest cooking together. (Consider flirting in the grocery store; a total turn on.) Ditto the tony bar night: Instead, try a make-your-own-beer or -wine session. The cinema date? Get some five-cent candy and microwave popcorn and Netflix. The goal here is a less-formal, more relaxed atmosphere conducive to genuine get-to-know-you.
Also, never underestimate the power of a good first-date walk. If she likes you (which really, no amount of date-planning has the power to make or break), a simple stroll could be all it takes.
The Gift That Keeps on (Not) Giving
This is where you win the lottery, boys. Despite other columnists’ insistence that women expect their mates to pull out all the stops for New Year’s, Valentines, anniversaries, et. al., not all girls go in for socially constructed commercial crap. Assuming you talk things out beforehand and have confirmed that your low-maintenance lady thinks the holiday in question is inane, you can cool it on the reservations/chocolate/flowers front. Just be careful: particularly for birthdays or anniversaries, less-romantic women still expect some acknowledgment, and they want it to be more of the personal, versus big and showy, variety. Interpret that as you will, just remember: bonus points — big bonus points — if you (get your office assistant to) make a card.
An Immodest Proposal
Our low-maintenance gal isn’t obsessed with men thinking she’s hairless, odourless and perennially nice. She shaves her legs if and when she feels like it, isn’t mortified by bodily effluvia and will happily join — or initiate — a conversation about sex and anything bathroom-related. If this scares you, you likely don’t stand a chance. If you’re intrigued, shake off some inhibitions and embrace the liberation of being open.
Tangentially related: No woman wants to date a guy who takes longer in the bathroom than she does. Consider paring down your pre-date routine; should you get lucky, ditto your morning grooming repertoire. So: easy on the cologne; eyes off the mirror; and don’t be afraid to leave that five o’clock shadow a while: Low-maintenance ladies (sometimes) gravitate to scruff.
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Image courtesy of Kheel Centre, Cornell University.
