Relinquish Your Inner Racer

We’ve got a suggestion for a few tweaks to your Sunday drive. Replace the countryside with a racetrack, and your SUV with a Reynard F2000.

All right, so it’s not a typical Sunday, but then again, the Bridgestone Racing Academy’s Wheel-to-Wheel Racing course isn’t exactly a regular weekend. It’s a chance to let out your inner race car driver in the same cars as Alex Tagliani and Jacques Villeneuve learned in.

The course is one of eight offered by the school, which is located in Pontypool, ON, about an hour east of Toronto. Wheel-to-Wheel Racing costs $3,990, and their most expensive package, a 9-race series, runs $11,990. For more affordable alternatives, the Thrill of a Lifetime options start at $565 for a test drive and with a half day coming in at $765. All races run from May to October.

Do a few of these, and you’ll be prepared to apply for a Canadian Automobile Sports Club license. Everyone with a sports car will benefit, says Brett Goodman, the owner of the Academy. “We see the trend of sports car owners feeling they get much more value from their performance street cars after getting some professional coaching on the race track.”

Other races and amateur racing weekends happen sporadically around southern Ontario and are listed on the Canadian Automobile Sports Clubs website. Bridgestone’s courses are the only ones in Southern Ontario that offer courses all summer long and provide racecars, so you can get the speed and feel of a professional drive – and put that wear and tear on someone else’s ride.

We admit to a certain laziness ourselves; we don’t always take the stairs, or answer every email the moment it arrives. But even we raise our eyebrows at this triumph of otiosity: some guys who have let themselves get saggy to the point of no return figure that the simplest way to deal with their man-breasts is not to do a few bench presses a week, but to pay a few thousand dollars to have their pectoral flab actually cut off.

The process is called gynecomastia – otherwise known as male breast reduction surgery – and wouldn’t you know, we have an expert in the procedure right in our back yard. Using a somewhat terrifying sounding technique called Power Assisted Liposuction, Dr. Frank Lista removes unsightly man-boobs daily in his Mississauga clinic. It’s an honest living, we suppose, but we can’t resist suggesting that the guys who pay for it might spend their money better at the gym. And the salad bar.

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