Babes Go Bonkers for Beards

It’s summertime and you can’t be bothered shaving. Your boss might be less enthused (best to return from the vaca with a beard, versus grow it in the office), but your lady will probably be pleased: While we don’t often admit it, many women agree that there’s something undeniably appealing about a guy with a full-blown beard. He seems mythic, he seems more manly, he seems more mysterious. Us women wear accessories to try to amp up our image, to try to create a tone that describes who we are. A man’s best accessory? Facial hair. So, give it a try, guys. Once you get past that scratchy phase, it will be smooth sailing.

There are, of course, pros and cons. Here’s what you need to know about ridding yourself of your razor this summer.

Pro: Beards are irresistible to (most) women. Not only are they conversation starters, but also the appeal to reach over and stroke that scruff is one we often can’t resist. If you’ve ever gotten a temple-and-scalp massage from your lady after getting your head shaved, then you know how good it feels. Imagine that on your face. There is something therapeutic about it.

Con: If you aren’t one who enjoys having his face touched, perhaps you want to keep clean to avoid tempting us.

Pro: Behind closed doors, you can use your beard to tease and tickle her — an added bonus and a heightened feeling for her pleasure.

Con: For long-term kissing sessions, the man-mane has the ability to not only scratch, but also irritate her skin. Make sure that you adjust your angle so as not to give her a rash.

Pro: The more scruff he has, the more mature and less mundane he looks. The statement: He appreciates living on the edge and going with the flow, and he knows how to give good style. He doesn’t need to ‘look pretty’ to catch other people’s attention, and he exudes commensurate confidence from this self-knowledge.

Pro: A guy who is scruffless comes off as high-maintenance. It looks like he complies with rules and is affected by workplace demands and what other people think. That, or he looks like he can’t even grow a 5 o’ clock shadow, let alone a beard.

A final word to the wise: If you’re testing out a beard for the first time, be sure to keep it simple. Maintain it and don’t convince yourself at any point that it is cool to go for the goatees, shapes or shaving spaces under your lips. The beard look works because of its carefree nature. Too much and it looks like what it is: like you’re trying too hard. And that’s when you become a beardo. Bottom line: If the beard is a novelty for you, then you don’t deserve the beard.

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Image courtesy of Felipe Skroski.