Getting Away with Getting Away

She’s sleeping at her place, you’re sleeping at yours. Or you’re married or living together, and one of you is travelling, for business or pleasure. Basically, it’s one of those less-common nights, which sees you two apart and doing your own thing. Part of that ‘thing’ involves taking advantage of some needed independence, which, at times, gets sacrificed when lust and love are involved.

Whether you are using your ‘night off’ to just stay in, lay on the couch and enjoy your space, or to partake in patio drinks a-plenty with your crowd, it’s ever-so-easy to keep your lady reassured in the absence of your presence. Call her to say goodnight.

Yes, my male counterparts, the answer really is that simple. On the nights where we’re separated, we don’t want to hear from you as a ‘check in’ (contrary to popular, often unfounded, belief), but because we want to be reminded that you miss us. That you are thinking of us. Even the most secure, saucy little lady wants to feel desired. A goodnight call makes her feel that, and then some.

Plus, you want to enjoy your time off, guilt-free, right? Below are some one-liners and tips guaranteed to make her feel desired and reassured, without trapping you in a long-winded, inquisitory type of phone call. Here’s the key: Focus on the future. That’s what real relationships are all about, after all.

For the guy who stayed in solo:
Keep it simple and direct. “Hey babe, I’m about to crash. Been dozing on the couch all night. Just wanted to say goodnight. I hope you had a good evening, and I want you to tell me all about it tomorrow.”

For the guy who’s out drinking with the boys:
When it’s your babe’s bedtime, leave the bar for a quiet area and give her a quick shout. “Hey, it’s insanely noisy in there, just stepped out to say hi, but want to get back in before they drink my beer on me. Good times, too much to tell you about right now. I’m heading home soon but wanted to make sure I got a hold of you to say goodnight, just in case you’re asleep when I get in.”

For the guy who’s working all night:
Since you’re at work and don’t want to get caught up in a conversation, or triggered that she’s angry or that she wants to talk shop, send her a voicenote wishing her goodnight. This free little tool on your phone is more unique than putting in that usual and anticipated call and, properly written, will win you points in the creativity department. You can also send her an image of the event, or whatever it is you’re working on, to make her feel included, despite the distance. “Babe, designing bedrooms. Can’t help thinking about you, and (y)ours.”

The bottom line, gents: It’s a minimal effort to take the initiative and put in the goodnight call before she reaches out to you. If she calls you first, you lose the points/proof that you’re thinking about her. This really is one of those cases where a little effort can go a very long way, not to mention make her more comfortable with continuing to take nights off and give you space in the future. Talk about short and sweet!

Image courtesy of Adam Holtrop.


6 thoughts on “Getting Away with Getting Away”

  1. OMG, yet more garbage from the narcissist-on-staff Jen about how much MORE men need to do for women, while in her view, women need do NOTHING for men. How about a piece on what women could do in a relationship to make the guy feel more comfortable and appreciated ? The answer is clear; In Jen-World, women owe men nothing, while men owe women everything. Single guys, Jen does you a service; When you meet a similar women (And, if you haven’t yet, you WILL), RUN. Run away fast and long. Because the Jen-Type is insane. As well as being deeply self absorbed and sexist.

  2. Here’s an apropos passage from a 1970’s Ruth Rendell short story, PEOPLE DON’T DO SUCH THINGS. Read into it what you will…


    “You can’t do that to someone who loves you,” Gwendolen said when Reeves had announced his brutal intention of going off on holiday without telling his latest girlfriend where he was going, or even that he was going at all. “You’ll break her heart.”

    “She hasn’t got a heart. Women don’t have them. She has another sort of machine, a combination of telescope, lie detector, scalpel, and castrating device… I mightn’t go away, in fact. I might just say I’m going away, and lie low at home. Fill up the deep freeze and lay in a stock of liquor. I’ve done it before in this sort of situation. It’s rather pleasant, and I get a hell of a lot of work done.”

  3. It seems all of Jen Kirsch’s relationship advice can basically be summed up with: “ME ME ME ME ME!” Sounds like someone’s a clingy princess.

  4. Seriously? Bitch, please. No. And boyfriend, leave me the fuck alone when you’re out and having a good time with your boys or whatever. I’m sleeping so stop calling me and relax, I’m not going to go psycho on your ass because you didn’t wish me a good night.

  5. Wow, women are alot of work, and worry. I’m going to investigate going bi so I have at least a chance to avoid all that work

    “How about a piece on what women could do in a relationship to make the guy feel more comfortable and appreciated ?”

    …but why would that appear in a magazine aimed at guys?

  6. holy fuck the drivel in the comments section of this site reminds me that no matter what is said, the haters will hate.

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