So you think it’s a good idea to try to get back together with your ex. Though I never approve of rekindling a failed romance — things break for a reason, like, they’re cheap or poorly designed — I will leave that decision to you. As you proceed, consider active strategies to score points with her. Because let’s face it, she started a tally the moment you guys started talking again.
Get in Her Good Books
It’s been a while since you last saw her. Use that silver tongue and charm to tell her how good she looks. Do this a lot. One quick way to a woman’s heart is through flattery, so bust out the best lines, making note of her post-split growth (maturation as a person, that is) and changes for the better. Sure, she’ll see this transparent move for what it is — and she’ll still like it.
Get in Her Good Facebooks
Follow her on social media. “Like” her stuff on Facebook, RT her on Twitter. This gives her the intended impression: that you’re not trying to hide your newfound connection to her. Neither, of course, are you shouting it from the rooftops — but the point is, social media gets you results, big time. Comment subtly on her online activity also makes others (read: her family and her friends, and yours if you want) comfortable with the idea of you being back in her life. Bonus: You can score points doing this without having to leave your desk.
Take Her Where She Wants to Go
Wine her and dine her, particularly if you didn’t the first time ’round. If you ask her to join you for drinks, make it “her” night by suggesting a bar or lounge you know she frequents and loves (even if you can’t stand the place). If she’s going to consider getting back with you, she’ll want to know you’re willing to pursue her and treat her in a way that means something to her, and that is different from how it went down before. And don’t complain, ever, about the cost of the overpriced umbrella drinks she’ll likely order.
Be “That Guy”
Ask about her family and friends, especially if you never got along with her family and friends in the first place. They’re a big part of her life; if you want to be, too, inquiring about them makes you come off looking like a changed man, even if you haven’t really changed too, too much.
Don’t be “That Guy”
Don’t bring up other dating partners. Women see this happen all the time, though men often don’t realize they’re doing it. Use the time you have with her to focus on her and you, not on the roster of men she was with or women you were with since the two of you split up. If you do, you’ll come off as jealous and insecure (surely, you aren’t!) and it will make her think you’re only with her out of some weird combination of desperation and one-upmanship. That’s just embarrassing.
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Image by Thinkstock Photo.
IOW, guys, stop being who you are, and make yourself totally subservient to what she wants, from one moment to the next.
That’s the kind of women best left in a different time zone. Jen, you need to learn that total narcissism on the part of women is NOT at all attractive to men.
It might, on occasion, be attractive to total wimps and to submissives. Feh.
If there’s one common thread through all of Jen’s articles (and I mean ALL of them) it’s that it’s all about her. Her “advice” reeks of selfishness.
I agree.
shallow artical,but all the same remember,somethings can’t be fixed,and somethings should not be fixed