How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work

The disappearing act: with a lot of guys, it’s not even an act. What about long-distance disappearances, though, temporary or long-term? They are not part of everyone’s lives, but affect many of us. Sometimes work or family obligations take you to another city for a while. Or maybe it’s that year-long ’round-the-world trip you’ve been planning with your buddy. (Don’t worry, she’s not jealous. Really.) What you need to know is that your relationship can survive separation — in fact, your relationship can even thrive on separation — because you’ll have a chance to miss each other and realize how much you enjoy being together. Still, it’s crucial that you find ways to stay connected and be clear about your expectations. Here, some tips on “going the distance.”

Don’t Forget Date Night
Who says you have to be in the same city to go on a date? If Thursday night was movie night, plan to watch the same flick at the same time, then chat about it after. If you went for coffee and nature walks on Sunday morning, pick up a java and chat while you hike in your respective green spaces. And use FaceTime when it’s time to take a breather and enjoy the scenery.

Stay Connected
Facebook, Twitter, email, text — gentlemen, you can even use a phone to stay in touch. These days, there is no excuse not to check in every day. Your lady wants to know that you miss her and are thinking of her. A simple comment on her Facebook photo or a re-Tweet of her latest post will go a long way. It’s also a good idea to set aside an hour every week to chat. Never make an excuse for missing your phone date. And surprise her with an extra call every now and then.

Keep Your Sex Life Alive
It can be hard (or not hard, rather) getting used to Skype sex. Try wine. Share a glass together over the call to get in the mood.

Have a Vision for the Future
For any long-distance relationship to survive, it must have an end date at which time you will be reunited in the same city and stay there together. It’s important to have a clear vision for your future together: discuss it often and stay on track. If you are taking a job to advance your career and promise your lady it’s only for a year, don’t keep extending your stay because things are going good. A promise is a promise — break it and you might as well breakup.

Discuss the Terms of Your Relationship
Sometimes being apart for a few months is a great time to date other people. It can also be an excellent opportunity to test your ability to stay true to your one and only. If you want to try an open relationship, discuss it in advance and make sure you’re on the same page. Open relationships only work if you’re both into dating other people. It’s essential to be crystal clear about the terms of your relationship and if you’re opening the doors to an open relationship, set some ground rules. Will you share any information on your escapades, or follow the “don’t ask, don’t tell” mantra?

Image courtesy of IronRodArt – Royce Bair.

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2 thoughts on “How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work

  1. Good article, however, dating other people while you are away, i think, is a way to break the relationship, rather than do you any good… If you are dating someone, why would you start dating someone else the first chance you get?!? That is just not right!

  2. nice. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now and wish to go away for career adjustment. I think itll be hard leaving her in this big city where everyone is in ‘competition’. itll also be hard for her because she has never lived on her own and has a few issues of my attitude when I drink. Apparently I get flirtatious but really im not. Anyway this get away will help me deal with such issues. Thanks for the tips.   

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