Nice Guys Finish First

Regular looking guys finish last?

It’s a lie. Know that. The gorgeous guy does not always get the girl.

A few years ago my girlfriends and I, all ranging from mid-twenties to early thirties, started comparing the carnage that was our collective dating history. One detail reigned supreme: we’d all consistently passed up the great guy, the regular looking guy, maybe even the slightly dorky guy, for the what we then thought was the Holy Grail of boyfriends: the gorgeous guy.

Big mistake.

The true Holy Grail, if Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade has taught us anything, is not the eye-catching, bejeweled goblet. What my girlfriends and I learned the hard way was that the real Holy Grail of boyfriends is the slightly modest one who has developed a great personality.

Now, all you staggeringly gorgeous guys out there, please don’t get your Calvin Klein’s in a knot over this next statement, because of course there are beautiful people with nice personalities, and this criticism applies equally to beautiful girls.

But what we came to theorize was that exceptionally beautiful men had generally spent their lives getting whatever they wanted, simply by virtue of being so beautiful. They therefore almost always turned out to be the worst boyfriends. They didn’t listen. They often hurt our feelings. They were always on the prowl for other girls.

These are very bad qualities in a boyfriend.

But we kept coming back for more. This, we duly decided, was a direct result of our own shallowness.

Now, being a little older, and a little wiser, perhaps a little deeper, we have articulated a more sound philosophy of boyfriend selection. Regular looking guys out there: these details tend, in most cases, to be the ones that fit your profile.

You have probably developed very fascinating qualities and interests that make us want to learn more about you. You have likely developed excellent communication skills. You probably aren’t as inclined to cheat as the impossibly gorgeous guy. You have probably developed a very appealing quiet confidence, as opposed to a brash one.

There you have it. A small insight into our strange minds. Our perspective might be a little Machiavellian, but the end results are favorable for the regular-looking dudes, not necessarily the male models of the world. And hey, we know we’re no fleet of Jessica Albas and Scarlett Johansons, either.

Now, as for our general policies on impossibly gorgeous guys and one-night stands, that, as they say, is another story.

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