Practical Solutions to PMS

Last week I explained what it’s like for women when Aunt Flo comes to town and thought I was done. I thought gaining some empathy would be enough force to drive some ideas home, but I keep forgetting that guys can’t read minds! Plus, it turns out some of you had questions about what to do specifically in order to make your and our lives better during the tricky time.

Specifically? I suggested to one male friend: Dig a hole in the ground. Bring concrete. Build a concrete bunker. Sit in the bunker. He added, “You forgot, ‘don’t utter a word!’” Ha. Well, yes, unless it is to tell us that those pants look baggy on us, that you can’t believe how incredibly sexy we are even in those pajamas, and that our hair looks really amazing lately. In other words, bring on the heavy artillery of compliments. Why not? It doesn’t cost you anything and it’ll make us feel a little better in our bloated-headachy-crampy state.

With a quick trip to the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart and about twenty bucks, you can buy yourself the most peaceful period week ever. Here are three more ideas from the red bunker:

Don’t Overdo It
Compliments are good, but don’t hang around us too much. We’re wolf girls that way and like to be left alone. That doesn’t mean “ignore us.” Just give us space. Draw us a nice bubble bath ($3). Don’t forget the candles ($1). Ask if we’d like a back rub. We’ll probably say no (space, remember?).

Show Your Sweet Side
Buy us some chocolate ($3), but don’t joke about it. In other words, yes, we’d love some chocolate, but, no, we wouldn’t like to be reminded about the cliché of chocolate-period connection.

Take Care
Pick up some Midol ($5). Add flowers, magazines, a couple of DVD rentals, manicure-pedicure gift card and so on if you’re a big spender. While you’re out, might as well buy a box of pads or tampons. Pads for overnight ($4), tampons in three different sizes ($8) for different flow days (I know, so yucky, Mr. Little Boy reading this).

The most important thing is simply being aware and sympathetic. An alternative solution to all of that is to sit in the bunker without uttering a word. And don’t even dare asking us for help mixing concrete.

Image courtesy of inorman88.


3 thoughts on “Practical Solutions to PMS”

  1. Please. Typical… Buy me this buy me that. I have a better idea, take that $20 and go buy myself some fishing stuff and go fishing. Space, remember?e

  2. Better yet, take that $20 and buy yourself a rubber chicken ‘cuz that’ll be the only thing you’ll be effing after you get back from your fishing trip, friend. 

  3. If you are a man who is fishing and you are not either a 10-year-old boy or his wizened grandfather, you need to seriously re-examine your life.

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