Romancing the Office

The holiday office party turned out great and you’re waking up beside Joanne from Archives! No, not the one that looks like your mother’s sofa, the other one, the one with dimples. And look, she’s opening her eyes and she’s not diving back under the duvet, in horror. In fact, she kisses you and then asks you about your plans for the weekend. Here are four things to consider when it comes to romancing the office.

After this weekend, you may be together, forever. And ever and ever. You will be emailing and texting each other, you will have lunch together and after work, you will walk home in tandem, you will be staying over at your place or her place, until you decide to share space. You will be at the office together, after work, you will talk about the office, you will be monitoring each other’s office flirting.

You will have to deal with office gossip. Before you announce at the next holiday office party that you are getting engaged (and everyone in the office is invited to your wedding, of course!), you will have to go through the pathetic, uncomfortable period of being the only people who are convinced that nobody around you knows that you are having a sweet, sweet romance.

You may have to compete. For titles, promotions, your bosses’ attention, business trips, bonuses, cheese baskets… You better train yourself to say, “I’m so proud of you, honey,” without your voice shaking or you’ll look like a petty loser and a bad boyfriend.

Or you could break up. Let’s face it, if the first three don’t discourage you, then you’re probably okay but if you do break up, just imagine future office parties with your ex, Joanne, dancing with Joe from Shipping, your ex, Joanne, whispering and giggling with the other Joanne from Archives (you slept with her last year), your ex, Joanne leaving the HR offices with a mysterious smile on her face…

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