It’s a warm fall evening. You’re hanging out with your buddies on a patio. Pretty girl walks by, intentionally drops something on the table in front of you. What’s this, pray tell? Phone number? Business card? Bar tab? No, it’s a card and…oh my. In frilly lavender type, the text reads CARE TO BE MR. RIGHT NOW? That’s it. As the saying goes, that’s all she wrote.
You, sir, have just received a Flip Me, a new series of (collectible?) cards that are being marketed to women as the key to their empowerment, as a painless and safe (and sassy!) way for us to pick up men of our own choosing. Extraordinary concept, this, because until now we’ve just been perched saucily on our barstools, hoping that the next boy to buy us a mint julep will be marginally attractive. Now, finally, we’ve got the tool that enables us to scope out cute guys, make contact with them (without even having to make contact!) and – here’s where it really gets exciting — reveal a bit about our sparkling personalities…after the guys take out their iPhones, log onto the Flip Me site and view our profiles.
Let me be clear that I’m all for women making the first move. I wouldn’t be married to my fan-freaking-tastic husband if I hadn’t made the first move. But I didn’t do it by passing him a card that said I’M PLAYING EASY TO GET. I mean, there’s direct, and then there’s lack of taste.
Neither am I arguing that these cards won’t work. I’m sure they will. I’m sure that a good many of you might respond to these cards with cheerful readiness. Still, at the risk of sounding hopelessly nineteen-hundreds, let me ask you this: Will you still respect her in the morning? I’m not implying that, upon receiving a paper WINK AND A SMILE you should be mooning, “She’s the one!” while your buddies are all high fivey and “Hoo boy” (or the vulgar equivalent). But just how rapidly do you want to be scrambling out of bed later on? How many minutes do you really want to spend with someone who passes you a card that reads I’M FLIRTING WITH YOU instead of flirting with you?
From a girl’s point of view, yes, it can be kind of hard to meet a great single man with whom you share common interests. (Game of Thrones: yea or nay? — now, that could be a useful card.) But really, girls, how hard is it to get laid?
True: Some ladies are not great flirts. Surely, though, anyone who’s too awkward to smile at a lad will only get into a more-awkward mess using cards like these: DON’T LOOK NOW, BUT YOU’RE BEING WATCHED. Why not cut to the chase with. Want your bunny boiled?
While I suppose there may be some Cro-Magnons out there who think that women who take the initiative are to be taken to bed but not to be taken seriously, I still suspect that most of you would have no problem with being asked out by one of us. That’s as it should be. Whatever your sex, approaching someone with romantic intentions is nerve-wracking; when done with class, credit should be given.
So, no, I’m not going to tell you not to go with the lady with the fancy card. That would be kind of pointless. Just keep your expectations low. And don’t be surprised if she “flips” — after all, it’s how you met her in the first place.
Image courtesy of Dragon Online.