The fashion demigods demand that grown men tuck in their shirts.
But you don’t answer to them. You think guys that tuck are traitors, try-hards too eager to squeeze into a straitjacket disguised as style.
When you spy these tuckers, all you see is the nubs of men society shaved down and moulded into weak-spined yes-bots too frail to buck authority.
Not me, you say. I’m a creative guy and creative guys don’t tuck. We rebel.
But lately some of this drive to tuck has pierced your shield. It happened to me. Maybe you hooked a job promotion or a new lady (the latter has not happened to me). Maybe you swallowed some of the advice here on DailyXY, purged your closet and started dressing your age.
So if you’re questioning when and where to tuck, be patient. I can help. Making the decision isn’t as hard as you might think. In fact, the secret is context.
Chugging brews with your boys
If you decide to ravage a restaurant that same night, tuck when you get there. If getting blotto is your motto, be your best-rumpled self. Just be aware that your decision may blunt your attractiveness.
I’d wager a small fortune that guys who tuck receive better treatment at restaurants. People in the service industry appraise you the moment you walk in. Why not make sure they judge the book with the unruffled cover. Plus, you’re on date, dude. See what happened when Matthew McConaughey cleaned up? He accrued accolades and met his lovely wife. Coincidence? Maybe. But maybe not.
The exception to the rule: dinner dates at fast-food joints. You heard me. Go chameleon and blend in.
At the Gym
Seriously? You have my permission to heap bushels of scorn on anyone who tucks at the gym. Preening for an activity where you should sweat profusely seems foolish.
No matter what corporate ladder you find yourself clambering, your attire affects the way people perceive you and your work. I know, it shouldn’t be that way. But “dress for success” and “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” are truisms on purpose. If you want the responsibility and respect you deserve, tuck until you’re in a position to abolish formal dressing standards.
The exception: Dollar dress-down days, but only on Friday.
The Final Word
In February, I attended the opening party for Toronto’s first SuitSupply, a maker of stylish suits priced within the average man’s reach. I put the question about whether a guy should tuck or not to Daria Tcherkachina, in-house stylist at Toronto men’s wear store GotStyle.
If you want to get fucked, get tucked.
Pierre Hamilton is a freelance writer from Toronto, where some of his best friends describe him as an acquired taste. He enjoys bourbon and scotch, but craves craft beer, overproof Jamaican rum and great non-fiction. He has a very limited style knowledge but knows what he likes. He also produces a monthly music podcast called Sound Considerations. Follow him, but not too closely, on Twitter.
Photo courtesy of super freeparking.