We sure have had one hell of a year in the dating world, haven’t we? Whether you were freshly single or just getting back into the game after a self-imposed hiatus, I’ve tried my darndest to serve up some (hopefully) helpful tips and advice to help you land the woman of your dreams, or at least get you laid. To paraphrase Clarice Starling, I thought if I could save just one of you, then the screaming of “WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?!” would stop. I hope I was successful.
Regardless of your status, I thought it would be a good idea to round up the best dating advice of the year. If you’re coupled up, we could all use a refresher. If you’re single, well, you’re obviously doing something wrong (like not taking my advice).
So, here it is: the best dating advice of 2014.
This is a biggie. No one knows the difference between dating and “hanging out,” and this madness needs to stop pronto.
Biggest takeaways: Your female friend will let you know if she’s interested in you romantically. Having sex with someone does not count as a date. Also, if you want to know if you’re on a date or not . . . just ask her!
Bonus tip: Women love to be officially asked out on a date. Don’t leave her guessing.
We are living in a digital world, my friend, and the stigma of online dating is basically non-existent. You want to know where the girls are? A lot of ‘em are online.
Biggest takeaways: Know what dating website is best for you (Jewish? Try JDate. Wanting to settle down? EHarmony is calling your name). Don’t use a photo of you and your buddies as your profile pic (because she will find your friends cuter). Don’t use a stupid profile name (because BigJohn9inches is just setting you up for failure).
Bonus tip: Women love a sense of humour (there’ve been studies), so add some clever wit to your profile and watch the online “winks” come rolling in.
Sometimes you have no clue why your girl ghosted you and knowing why your girlfriend kicked you to the curb is an important step in preventing that from happening again.
Biggest takeaways: Being lazy in bed, well, actually, being lazy, period, will send her running for them hills. Having a futon for a couch and $50 of coupons to your name as well as cheating on her (duh!) are also deal-breakers.
Bonus tip: At the all-important four-month mark in your relationship, you gotta make sure she knows that you’re all in. Give her a reason to stay, and she will.
As much as you’d like to think that she’s reaching the big “O” every time you bone, she’s probably not (because our equipment is finicky and women don’t communicate our desires as much as we should . . . and because you probably do the same “go to” move over and over).
Biggest takeaways: Send her some naughty texts to keep her hot and bothered throughout the day. Then, don a stylish suit before you read some hot erotica together and treat each other to full-body (and lubed-up) massages.
Bonus tip: Mixing it up and keeping the lines of communication open with your woman will have her “coming” back for more . . . and more.
Sadly, there isn’t a Love Potion No. 9 and science says that women need time to warm up and fall in love. However, there are ways help you two get to the next level.
Biggest takeaways: Try new things together because there are chemicals in our brains that release all the good feelings when you jump out of airplanes or mountain climb (just watch “The Bachelor” for proof). Support her through the good and bad times (like a job promotion or her cat dying), and get deep and personal with her so she knows she can trust her.
Bonus tip: Giving her some space while making her feel special at the same time (tricky but true) will help her fall in L-O-V-E with you.
Happy New Year! May you all find the woman of your dreams (or hold onto her) in 2015.
Brianne Hogan is a freelance writer based in Toronto, something of a humorist, and considers herself more Bridget Jones than Samantha Jones. Though she won’t reveal which parts, she will admit to liking emotionally unavailable men and drinking lots of wine. You can follow her on Twitter @briannehogan.
Photo courtesy of flickr.