You’re scared of the word. You’re scared of what your dudes will think of you using the word. Hell, you’re scared your girlfriend will use it as leverage to manipulate you into attending strange effeminate events: poetry readings, ballet, foreign films.
But here’s the thing. Do you believe women are people with the same agency to do things, think things, feel things that you do? Can you acknowledge that your girlfriend is a living, bleeding, farting human being? Yes? Then congrats, you’re a budding feminist. Now let it bloom.
Being a feminist with a penis isn’t some abstract thing and it isn’t about petty stuff like the toilet-seat up-or-down cliché (although you should probably just do that).
“But I was raised a certain way,” you say, “and it’s hard to change.”
Nobody’s at fault for how they were raised. That’s actually the point. We were all—men, women, intersexed—raised with some pretty dumb ideas about gender. Being a feminist means recognizing those ugly sexist things in ourselves and changing them. At the very least, don’t pass them on to your kids.
I’m not saying you have to do like Andy on Parks and Recreation and enroll at your local women’s studies department. (Full disclosure: I took a women’s studies class in university. I was the only male. I got 100 per cent on the semester.) Feminism on the internet is pretty intimidating too. There’s a lot of contradictions, flamewars and radical positioning. If you took everything to heart you’d end up on some self-destructive behavioural witch-hunt. The most practical approach is to actually listen to the women (read: people) around you. If someone says you’re doing something sexist, believe her.
What are the benefits to you? Well, first off, this isn’t about benefitting you, but there are plenty of upsides. When you stop being hung-up on a book being “chick lit” or a movie being “for girls,” you can just enjoy what you want. Working with female co-workers becomes productive and less onerous. Stuff gets done. People like you.
Most importantly, when you become a feminist, sex gets better because instead of doing something to an object (i.e. screwing something) you’re doing something with another person. The possibilities are endless. This goes for pretty much anything: dinner, camping, roadtrips.
Plus going to the ballet is actually great. Name a bigger spectacle. I dare you.
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Image by Stockbyte.
this article is the biggest piece of shit this website has ever produced. This guy’s a pansy brainwashed bitch.
So you’re saying you don’t agree with writer?
Lots of wine is what gets my wife camping, not being a feminist.
Interesting take – embrace everyone!
There’s nothing wrong with dinner, hot docs and more….if that’s feminism sign me up!
This article is hugely offensive to both men and women. I mean, I get what the writer is trying to do: he’s clearly a liberated man using what he sees as ‘bro-speak’ to enlighten men. But the result is insulting to everyone involved.
1) The notion that one should become a feminist to fuck more chicks is, obviously, inherently contradictory. Any time you do things to “get laid,” chances are you aren’t treating the other party in the equation as anything more than a means to an end. Now, that’s not to say you can’t find some equally horny feminist women who just want to bone, but in that case, just being honest will do the trick…not feigning feminism.
2) As a guy, I’m insulted by the idea that, in 2012, I need an article like this. Who do you think your readers are? There’s this notion that men are brutes and imbeciles, who only think with their dicks, if they think at all. That’s who this article is written for. But, the thing is, I don’t want to count myself among that group. In fact, reading this article made me feel sad that that’s who you imagine your readers to be. Talk up to us, guys. This isn’t 1960.
Awww, Aaron Leaf — you’re such a nice guy!
what on earth convinced you that male feminism has anything to do with getting laid? the idea behind your article is sleazy, if not predatory. you know nothing about women. good luck winning them over by referring to their alleged hobbies as “strange effeminate events,” suggesting that working with female co-workers is inherently onerous, and, among other things, what’s a vapid article on feminism without a casual witch-hunt reference? this article is insulting, and not to mention poorly written. you don’t even answer your own headline- not a single sentence in this article suggests how one can get laid by embracing their feminine side.
Nikola, on reflection, you’re right. And that’s why we’ve changed the headline.