Where the Girls Are

Spring is in the air and you know what that means: singletons are finally leaving the comfortable confines of our couch and Netflix to spread genetic material in the great outdoors.

Most likely when you think of meeting women, you automatically think of bars, coffee shops or clubs—basically, meet markets. These places exude generic conversations, casual head bopping and anonymous sex (and if you think coffee shops are excluded from this list, then you obviously have no idea what goes, uh, down in some Starbucks restrooms).

The thing is, you’re better than those places. And I’m pretty sure that the kind of woman you’re after is better than those places, too. You want to approach a lady in a place where you can both get a sense of each other’s personality while sharing a common interest that lies outside caffeinated beverages and EDM. So, if you’re willing to expand your horizons, here are some original places to go lurk.

Comedy Club

She . . . spends hours surfing YouTube for clips of Richard Pryor and Sarah Silverman, considers Bossypants her Bible to Living and will date a Zach Galifianakis-type so long as he makes her LOL.

How to Woo Her: Women dig a man who can really make her laugh. Not one of those chuckles, but a full-out guffaw. Science even backs that up. There’s been studies. So, after the show, buy her a drink and share a funny story. Ask her what her favourite part of the set was and relive the joke. And remember: she loves to make you laugh as much as you do, so respond accordingly with an appreciative LOLZ.  You’ll likely get an invite to the next show as her date.

Department Store

She . . . is always dressed to impress. She’s elegant and feminine, but not afraid to try new things and can probably outrun you in a pair of pumps.

How to Woo Her: First of all, don’t misunderstand me and start hanging around Victoria’s Secret like some creepy perv. I’m referring to a unisex store that serves both men and women. It may be clichéd, but, yes, women love to shop, so if you’re a fashion-forward dude looking for a way to spend a Saturday afternoon, this might be the “meet cute” you’ve been waiting for. Compliment her on the sweater she’s been eyeing (“that colour really brings out your blue eyes”) and if you’re a trendy guy, namedrop a designer and steamroll your way into a serious sartorial convo. Then, ask her to help you pick out a pair of pants and thank her by inviting her out for a glass of wine.

Recreational Sports League

She . . . is competitive and not afraid to fight for what she wants. She takes risks and hates to lose and favours the sun-kissed look.

How to Woo Her: Word to the wise, guys: I know through firsthand experience that once your adrenaline gets pumping and the thrill of competition overtakes you, the only balls you’re thinking about are the ones you’re throwing/kicking/catching. It’s OK to show off your athleticism, but you also want her to know that you’re a good sport, too.  Show her that you’re a fun guy who’s there to have a good time. You want to score in more ways than one, right?

Take a Class

She . . . likes to challenge herself and is open to new experiences and people. She’s ambitious, intelligent and she probably speaks French. Ooh la la!

How to Woo Her: Whether you’re interested in finally mastering Italian or brushing up on your photoshopping skills, taking a class is a great way to meet someone who shares your passion. Everyone loves some assistance, but no one likes a know-it-all, so remember that if she asks you for help. Of course, the smart guy would ask her to help him with some after-class tutoring (even if he doesn’t necessarily need it), and I know that smart guy is you.

Public Transportation

She . . . is a mystery. She could be single, taken, who knows? Find out.

How to Woo Her: I know mostly everyone on public transit is silently thinking “stay away from me, don’t talk to me,” while shaming the bold person who eats a pizza slice on the subway, but there are those rare instances when a friendly face and a joke would ease that gross work commute tension. Just make sure to judge the situation correctly. If she’s got her headphones on and she’s glued to Candy Crush, then it’s probably best to leave her alone. But if you catch that cute girl’s eye and you both smile and have a “moment,” strike up a casual and light conversation (“Who eats pizza on the subway, right?”). Be sure to grab her digits before her stop, though, or you might risk becoming one of those Missed Connections.

Brianne Hogan is a freelance writer based in Toronto, something of a humorist, and considers herself more Bridget Jones than Samantha Jones. Though she won’t reveal which parts, she will admit to liking emotionally unavailable men and drinking lots of wine.  You can follow her on Twitter  @briannehogan.

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