How to Turn Your Girlfriend into a Football Fanatic

The NFL season kicks off Thursday night, which means it’s time to get ready for 16-plus consecutive weekends of wings and beer with the boys, right?

Wrong. Reality is, you’ll be lucky to get out for a small handful of games; most weeks, you’ll be at home with your lady – and if “Desperate Housewives” is competing with the Patriots game…you could be in trouble.

Unless, that is, you can convert your woman into a rabid NFL fanatic. Here’s how to change her:

1. Think outside the pizza box.
Order sushi. Drink white wine. Light candles. Wings and beer are great – but they’re not the point.

2. Explain the rules.
Without being patronizing, tell her how the game works. Keep her engaged by keeping her informed.

3. Make it a date.
Nothing will kill the mood like a basement full of your ball-scratching bros. At first, at least, watch some games alone.

4. Don’t focus on the game.
Talk about the gossipy off-field distractions, like which player got caught with cocaine, or who’s nailing Kim Kardashian. And if she happens to find Tom Brady irresistible, embrace it.

5. Cut your leering.
Her gawking over Tom Brady doesn’t give you free reign to ogle those busty cheerleaders high-kicking in miniskirts. So for God’s sake, keep your mouth shut.

This is a test