Make or Break Moments in Relationships

The early days of courtship are pretty blissful. Sex. Food. Food. Sex. But, then, after a little while, your boo tells you that he’s never cut ties with his “other” girlfriend back home in Texas and you’re all like, “OMG? Who ARE you?!”

Yes, I’m referring to that time, somewhere between courtship and dating, when your Mr. Hydes begin to emerge and suddenly, it seems, that almost every moment becomes make-or-break. These moments of peril precipitate the all-important dating question: do you bail, or do you stay in the relationship?

Here’s how you can handle these milestone moments gracefully (except if she tells you that she’s never cut ties with her “other” boyfriend back in Texas. Then, kick her to the curb).

The Moment After You First Have Sex

The moment after your first sex session is always going to be hella awkward. Are you going to stay over, or are you going to grab your pants and jet? If you stay, will there be snuggling or sleeping? If you opt to leave, are you both cool with that? So many questions, right? But, that’s what happens after sex—we all get so damn analytical. The best response is to maintain a sense of humour. If you both can laugh off the post-coital awkwardness (“Um, your underwear is over herrrre!” or “Stop hogging the blankets!”), then chances are, you’ve found yourself a keeper.

The Moment She Talks About Her Ex

You know she has an ex (or even a couple), and chances are, he’s going to come up in conversation. If you can take hearing about him in stride—meaning no macho comments  (“I bet he never owned a German car”)—then it shows that you’re a totally secure guy and someone with whom she can have an honest and open dialogue. On the other hand, if she mentions this guy a lot (“Well, my ex never did that,” or “My ex was a way better driver” or “My ex once ate 10 raw eggs”) then you might want to consider whether she’s completely over her ex or not.

The Moment You Make An Ass Out Of Yourself

One of my exes was a horrible dancer. I mean, I know most men are not Kevin Bacons, but this guy even pulled out glow sticks. Forget Gagnam Style; he had gag me style. But guess what? He endeared himself more to me because of it. Look, guys, women know that you aren’t perfect. In fact, we like when you show us your flaws because it allows us to relax more and show you ours. It’s a quid pro quo thing. So, laugh it off and let your freak flag fly. And if she can’t handle it? Buh-bye.

The Moment You Have Your First Fight

Well, first, you have to know how to fight right. Then, you also have to keep in mind that fighting is a great bonding mechanism for relationships. Your first fight is the ultimate test to see whether or not you’re able to resolve differences maturely and respectfully. If you can like fighting with your girl (and not in a Richard-Burton-Elizabeth-Taylor-dysfunctional-way but in a I-know-we-can-work-anything-out-way), then you’ve got yourself a perfect sparring partner (and probably an even better make-up sex lover).

The Moment She Starts Talking About the Future

This moment probably comes around the time when you’ve been staying in dating limbo territory a little too long and now she’s beginning to question whether you’re all in or not. Before she can ask you, “What is this? What are we doing here?” go out and buy her a toothbrush (a Sonic one would be cool, FYI) to keep at your place. It shows her that not only are you thinking about her well-being (and hygiene) but that you’d like her to stick around at least until Canada Day.

Brianne Hogan is a freelance writer based in Toronto, something of a humorist, and considers herself more Bridget Jones than Samantha Jones. Though she won’t reveal which parts, she will admit to liking emotionally unavailable men and drinking lots of wine.  You can follow her on Twitter  @briannehogan.

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