New data reveals the exact words women respond to in online dating profiles

What a greater response rate to your online dating activities? Here is how you should describe yourself to optimize your chances.

New research shows that men who hope to get women to respond to them on online dating sites have a better chance if they create profiles that are more like the women they hope to attract, and yet can show they are distinct from other males.

For this study, researchers from the University of Michigan analyzed data from a popular dating site including the profiles and clickstreams of 410,000 active users in 10 different cities. Dating site users exchanges 25 million messages, generated 286 million clicks on the site, and rated other users’ profiles 864 million times.

You should become like the woman you would like to meet

“Specifically, she is more likely to respond when the text in the male’s profile is similar to hers,” said lead author Danaja Maldeniya, a graduate student at the School of Information. “Our findings suggest that when males craft their profiles, they should attempt to highlight their perceived similarities with the females they are hoping to attract, while highlighting what they think makes them stand out from the competition.”

If she’s a vegan environmentalist, talk about your love of animals and plans for saving the planet. If the woman you want is an avid cyclist and hiker, you’d better be the outdoor type.

None of that is terribly surprising. Of course, people want to date someone with similar interests and values to their own. For instance, the vegan environmentalist in the above example would not be interested in dating a guy who enjoys throwing his burger wrappers out the window of his idling Hummer. (But no matter who you date, don’t be that guy. That guy is a dick.)

The online profiles that get the greatest response from women

Online dating site Zoosk has released detailed data about the online behavior that users react positively to. Apparently the ‘three-day rule’ doesn’t apply anymore. Men who have the most successful interactions with women respond quickly.

    – Men who message women back the same day have a 62 per cent response rate.

    – Waiting a day to reply to a woman drops that to a 50 per cent response rate.

    – Men who wait two days before messaging only have a 45 per cent response rate.

Their data also included the precise wording that women like to read in the profiles of men. Here is how you should describe yourself to maximize your chances of success in online dating.

The men women most want to meet

According to Zoosk, men with the phrase “knight in shining armour” in their profiles get a 67 per cent greater response rate.

    (Author’s note: I found that a little hard to believe – for the ‘cheese’ factor of that particular phrase. Therefore, I polled a few women in my network about how they would react to such a self-description from a potential suitor. Reactions were unanimously negative varying from “Ew, no,” to “Who is this guy!?” to merely inserting a finger into the mouth to simulate a gag reflex and vomiting. Of course, my sample of women surveyed were all over 40 years old. Perhaps younger online daters seek a “knight in shining armour.” Sadly, due to a lack of twenty-something women in my life, I can’t poll that demographic.)

The precise words women respond to:

  • Men who describe themselves as Thoughtful get a 66 per cent boost in responses.
  • Say you’re a Listener for a 43 per cent increase.
  • Use the word Community to see a 33 per cent lift.
  • Men who are Giving also get 33 per cent more responses.
    (This jumps to a whopping 60 per cent when the phrase is “Giving Back.”)
  • Claim to be Polite for 21 per cent more reactions.
  • And say that you are Friendly for an additional 12 per cent more responses from women.

According to these findings, women aren’t into thoughtless, unfriendly dudes who never listen to them. So, don’t be that guy either.

Demographic tastes

More mature women apparently just want somebody they can trust. Women who are from 30 to 50 years old most often use the word “Honest” when describing their ideal man.

Younger women are more often just looking to have some fun. The top three words used by twenty-something women to describe their ideal match are “Laugh,” “Fun,” and “Funny.”

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