Want More Dates? Be a Little Cocky

Problem

You think overconfidence is a bad thing, especially in the dating work.

Reality

Actually, a little overconfidence—just a little—may be just the thing you need, according to a study in Personality and Social Psychology.

Method

Researchers conducted a series of online tests with over 3,000 men and women. They measured their confidence and then had them write dating profiles, which were then rated by members of the opposite sex.

As you’d expect, overconfident people were considered a mix of confidence (which daters consider highly desirable) and arrogance (which is highly undesirable).

Women also didn’t initially find overconfident men more attractive.

Results

However, when men were given the chance to compete against a more cocky man’s profile, they usually backed down. This was also the case in a bar or club—cocky men tend to do better because they’re more likely to outcompete less cocky men.

And interestingly, the exact same thing was found to be true of cocky women.

The Takeaway

Of course, the obvious problem here is: what counts as overconfident, and how much is enough?

So let’s get this out of the way first: acting like a pickup artist or like a fedora wielding neckbeard will not help you. No one likes a jerk. Well, almost no one.

What you should do is be willing to compete with the other guys at the bar. If you aren’t confident enough to talk to a girl who is being approached by other guys, then they win. It’s that simple.


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