What Cold Feet?

The gloomy Sunday now wrapping up in Toronto as I write was the first day in a long time I was able to relax — to flop on the couch with a book and simply do nothing. If there were any cold feet-type issues lying latent in a quiet corner of my unconscious, today would have been their day to creep out of their foxholes and storm the citadel.

And … nothing to report. All quiet on the western front or whatever.

I realize this blog has so far dealt with the wedding and not really engaged with the idea that I will, eight months from now, be a married man. Hey, I was a single guy not long ago. I know what I would have expected an dude in my shoes to be wondering right now: Am I doing this because I want to or because she pushed for it? Can I go the rest of my life without the thrill of chasing new skirts? Will she turn cranky in middle age? For me the biggest question was whether we’d learn how to argue less.

Anyway, I thoroughly answered any such questions in my head before proposing. Duh.

But since then, the fact is that I haven’t worried because I haven’t had to. Our relationship is working more smoothly than ever, despite life being difficult for us lately on many fronts, including money.

I suppose putting a ring on her finger helped create peace. But so does being reminded of how far we’ve come. Without going into all the gory details, we recently had a close encounter with people much less happy in their relationship than we are in ours. The minute we got a moment alone again we looked into each other’s eyes in a moment of complete and perfect solidarity: Thank God that isn’t us. Visiting a sick man can remind one to be grateful for one’s health.

I don’t mean to sound smug. We are not the perfect couple. We came close to breaking up more than once — I screwed up, she screwed up; when we first moved in together we had a hell of a time getting along.

But we worked on all that, and the working worked. I would credit us both with a genuine willingness to listen; to take feedback and modify our behaviour.

As she endearingly glided and twirled around our condo the other day while trying out different songs to walk up the aisle to next summer, it was natural to feel like we’ve reached a better place. No need to look back now.

Image courtesy of esperanza277 on Flickr.

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