The Worst News in the World

Be sure you’re sitting down for this: according to a new study published in Genome Biology, a woman’s breasts age faster than the rest of her. Actually, the study had to do with aging in tissues throughout the entire human body, and particularly with developing an algorithm involving methylated tissues as a way of estimating age, but one unhappy result of their study (which was successful, by the way) confirmed that breasts age about three years faster than the rest of the body.

Some less silly conclusions drawn by the study are that the heart appears to be nine years younger than the rest of the body (perhaps due to a constant supply of stem cells), and that cancer cells appear a whopping thirty-six years older than the rest of a person, but we’re hung up on the breast thing.

So, enjoy them while you can, ladies and gents—enjoy them while you can.


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