Whether you’re married, “married” or dating, it’s easy to get comfortable with a girl and develop (what she sees as) bad habits. Here, some easy steps to take, effortless for you, extremely satisfying for her.
Be (More of a) Gentleman
Way easier than it sounds: it’s all about the doors. Close the bathroom, open the car. Trust me, she’ll notice. And don’t let familiarity breed contempt (at least, not by accident): Thank her for that tasty meal she cooked, even if it wasn’t that tasty. If you’re feeling really gentlemanly, go for love and support.
Look Your Best
Remember when you actually got out of your pajama pants and shaved when she was coming over? It’s great getting cozy together, but it also makes her feel good to see you putting in an effort. Next time you’re hanging out on the weekend, put on your Sunday best.
Daily Contact
Between social media, email and (i)phones, there’s no excuse not to check in every day. It takes only a few seconds to send her a text to say hi; she’ll be happy to know you were thinking of her, and you can get back to thinking about other things.
Surprise Her
Women love surprises — notably, romantic ones. Plan a special dinner out; send her flowers at work for no particular occasion. The math is that very little effort will go a long way. This one’s an investment, and there are dividends. Yes, that’s innuendo.
Maintain Independence
Go out with the boys. You heard right: While you may think she wants to spend every waking (and sleeping) hour with you, that’s often not the case. Maintain your own social calendar, including exclusive time with your buds. Encourage her to do the same (if she’s not already). Socializing outside of your intimate relationship is healthy and helps you return to your partnership refreshed. Just make sure you don’t return to your love bed reeking like beer and expect to get lucky.
Try New Things Together
Nothing bonds quite like trying to find your feet on snowshoes or stuttering through a Spanish class. Do things outside of your comfort patterns: You’ll get closer and (probably) have fun at the same time.
Talk
Sure, it’s easier to be passive-aggressive instead of admitting something’s bothering you. Still, she wants to know, and the fact is that talking is therapeutic, even if your every masculine instinct cries out in protest. Don’t get carried away or anything: a bit will seem like a lot, so run with that. And talking is talking — this is not for email, and preferably not telephone.
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Image courtesy of Gregory Bastien.
The Sunday best is sometimes frustratingly difficult, but definitely worth the effort. She practically threw herself at me after a nice homemade lunch