Dating Ms. Smarty-Pants

Hoping to dive under the covers with a buxom bookworm or an attractive academic? It’s almost guaranteed she’s going to check out your bookshelf  before she steps into your bedroom. Here are some Do’s and Don’ts that’ll help you impress:

The No-No’s

Not having a bookshelf – if you don’t have a bookshelf, you’ll probably want to get one. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just keep in mind that if it’s tiny, you may be required to be highly-skilled in other areas.

Porn mags or X-rated graphic novels – these belong under the bed, not on the shelf. Try filling the gap with a copy of the Kama Sutra.

Comic books and Farside anthologies – it’s nice that you have a sense of humour, but books like these are going to make her think of her father’s bathroom, and there’s nothing less sexy than that.

Fantasy novels – too many of these on your shelf says: Watch out, this guy thinks he’s a wizard. Try replacing the Dragonlance series with some favourite books from your childhood. Yes, Lord of the Rings is okay, if you must.

Sex for Dummies – this is a manual on something you definitely should have mastered by now. A gigantic, neon-blinking No-No.

The Yes-Yes’s

An atlas – this will assure her you know your Kazakhstan from your Uzbekistan. It’s also great for planning romantic getaways. If you’re a traveler you can juxtapose your atlas with Lonely Planets and some Kerouac.

A dictionary – a good Webster’s says you’re “word-curious” which, for bookworms, translates to “adventurous in bed”. Dual language dictionaries are even hotter.

Can Lit – having a few books by Canadian authors will let her know you’re proud of your roots. Try some Timothy Findley, or DailyXY’s very own Russell Smith.

The Classics – you’ll need to have at least a handful of these to prove you took some classes other than Auto Shop. Try the Russians if you’re a serious guy, or the French if you like a bit of passion.

An open book on the coffee table – this is a powerful visual cue for women who get off on books. Make sure it’s a good one, and you’ll be reading each other bedtime stories before the evening’s over.

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