Dear Married Man

Dear Married Man,

Our eyes met across the dance floor, you had a killer smile. I was on the prowl with my girl friend, Lisa. I raised my glass to toast you. Then you raised your glass to me. As you did, the light bounced right off your hand and blinded me. Nice wedding ring. Good-bye forever. To me, a wedding ring is equivalent to a clown hat – something about it, it just turns me off. But that’s just me.

My friend Lisa, a perpetually single friend, says that a married dude in a club, checking out girls, is not really her problem. She says she is not looking for a husband herself, so it’s perfect. She loves it that she won’t have to pick up dirty socks off the floor but may get a nice hook-up out of it. Which is why she went right up to you, Dear Married Man, after I looked away.

Another friend, M., says that flirting with a married man is almost like flirting with a gay guy but better. It’s safe, it’s fun, and she knows that a married man appreciates her beauty if he’s paying extra attention. The ring keeps a nice little wall between things going any further.

One friend, Stacey, who had an affair with a married man says that a wedding ring is a challenge for some women – it’s almost as good as seducing a priest. Some women are naturally inclined to go after drama. Which is all that you will get, Dear Married Man, if you hook up with any Staceys.

Married guy friend claims that a wedding ring is almost as good as having a puppy. He says that women love men with wedding rings because it shows them that you are not afraid to commit, it shows that you are wanted, like to get down on your knees and that you like jewellery (kidding about the last one).

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