Dos and Don’ts of Dating Younger Women

School is back, Frosh Week is here and sexy kids are drunkenly stumbling all over the place. I don’t know about you, but I’m always slightly confused when I realize that it’s been ridiculously long (about 85 years) since I myself partook in Frosh.

I still fondly remember the first time I became acutely aware of my homicidal urges as we were encouraged to get all happy-clappy for U! W! O! To think that that joyful time was in the last century!

Anyway, if it was in the last century for you too, but you still feel like a student and — most importantly — really, really dig students, I thought I’d give you a little primer on how to date a younger woman (or not).

The French believe that the ideal age difference is 14 years. If you’re feeling very French (or are, in fact, a Frenchman), here’s what this means for you: 14 years from the time she turns 20 (otherwise you’re dating a TEENAGER).  (Here’s what a 16-year difference looks like. The girlfriend is the one on the left. You’re welcome.)

The most important thing is not how kinky the age diff is, but that you, ultimately, like and respect each other’s worlds. This means that you might get to introduce her to grownup pursuits such as good Scotch and dinner parties with your lawyer friends, but be prepared to discuss Nietzsche, attend ironic prom parties and sleep on an IKEA pullout when you stay over. Sure you’ve already done it all in your 20s, but remember, this is a first time for her.

In words of the wise Dan Savage, always use the “campsite rule.” Basically, don’t be a douche.

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