Girlfriend, Wife or Mother?

When you snag yourself a woman who hankers to be the lady of the house, you perceive the fine line between girlfriend, wife and mother. But can you tell the difference? Here are some states of play that you might want to consider before you get too excited about a woman taking care of you.

Laundry: She does it every week and takes your delicates to the cleaners for you.

Girlfriend: Should do this only if the two of you live together. Otherwise, the dirty work’s yours.

Wife: Can do both, if you both agree to other divisions of labour. Motivation for her: provides the certainty that you won’t turn her white blouse pink.

Mother: Likely to do this and a lot more: pick up your laundry off the floor, lint-brush your sports coat, empty your pockets and not mention that she found a condom, a woman’s number, a Snickers wrapper and other guilty secrets. Cool, if you’re Don Draper — but can you really handle her knowing that stuff?

Prepping meals: She cooks most of your meals and calls work to make sure you haven’t snuck out to the diner for a gravy lunch.

Girlfriend: Can meet you for lunch near your office if she’s in the area. You can also pop up at her place of work for a surprise lunch, for which of course you must treat (well played: wooing is no myth, and she does want to be pursued). Can make dinners but, no matter how much she loves to cook, you should at least offer to man the kitchen. On occasion.

Wife: Can throw together something for the two of you to quickly eat before heading off for your separate days, and have a lunch bag waiting in the fridge for you to grab while exiting. Can prep dinner itinerary in advance; you do not complain. If she surprises you with your favourite baked good in the oven, bonus for you. Be visibly thankful.

Mother: Picks up your favourite foods while shopping and makes sure you finish your dinner; is expected to feed you with nutritious foods and likely derives joy from seeing you clean the plate.

Grocery shopping: A man with an empty fridge vibes, well, emptiness. He signals to women that he can’t take care of himself, has no concept of health or money, and surely can’t be any kind of host.

Girlfriend: Likely loves the idea of playing house and scanning the aisles with you to fill your place — not only with your favourite stuff, but also things she wants to have around your house. Under no circumstances should she be given your credit card to do your grocery shopping for you.

Wife: Cares about what you eat and has some power and affect over making you eat in a way that she sees fit. Offer to join her the odd time. It will make you seem grateful, plus, you’ll get to sneak in a few items she’s been nixing.

Mother: Cares about what you eat and uses every scrap of power and affect to make you eat in a way that she sees fit. You will comply. Get used to it. (Truth is, you might like that.)

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