There’s nothing more confusing than a confused guy. By mythic reputation, men know what they want, and speak up when they want it. Well, I call b.s. on that. I wish I could show you the crapload of emails I exchanged with a former boyfriend who dumped me and then changed his mind. Or did he? To this very day, I don’t know. But I’m still puzzled over the phallus pictures he sent immediately after declaring we were through.
I know that some guys can be worried about hurting our feelings, but there’s nothing worse than a guy who’s so worried about hurting feelings that he ends up hurting them over and over again by not being straightforward and honest. Although being honest may make you seem like a jerk, at least it won’t make the girl go psycho on you from constant misread signals you send out. Plus, I’m sick of girl friends who aggravate each other with “What do you think this means?” after receiving yet another bizarro text or email, or not receiving same, after what they thought was a fun, sexy date. Come on, guys: Be clear, be decent, be honest. Here’s how.
Not feeling it? Say so.
You had a nice time, the sex was OK, and then in the morning it all just flies away in the general direction of meh. So, as she leaves, why are you telling her that it would be fun to hang out together next weekend? It won’t be fun to hang out together next weekend. Because you won’t be there! Say nothing except that you’re going to call, then call and say that you’re not feeling it.
Make your intentions clear
Remember: When inviting a girl out, do make it clear if this is a date or not. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard hilarious horror stories about one person being on a date and the other being completely clueless that it was a date. One easy way to clear to clear up the confusion is to say, “Wanna come on a date with me to…?”
Let it go
Were you mad at me two Thursdays ago after what happened at that party? Did we already have a fight about it? Yeah? So why are you bringing it up again? We made up, remember?!
Listen: When you say you’re not interested, we hear you. We really hear you, and we’re making a mental note to leave you alone instead of stalking you like a hungry hyena. Don’t call back the next time your schedule clears up — unless we have a very clear understanding that this is just for sex and giggles.
“I’ve decided to get back together with my ex but I would still love to tie you up.” Whaa?! Here’s some free editing help for you: “I’ve decided to get back together with my ex but I would still love to tie you up.” You’re welcome.
Image courtesy of Helen Frixione.