Men, Stop Confusing Your Women

There’s nothing more confusing than a confused guy. By mythic reputation, men know what they want, and speak up when they want it. Well, I call b.s. on that. I wish I could show you the crapload of emails I exchanged with a former boyfriend who dumped me and then changed his mind. Or did he? To this very day, I don’t know. But I’m still puzzled over the phallus pictures he sent immediately after declaring we were through.

I know that some guys can be worried about hurting our feelings, but there’s nothing worse than a guy who’s so worried about hurting feelings that he ends up hurting them over and over again by not being straightforward and honest. Although being honest may make you seem like a jerk, at least it won’t make the girl go psycho on you from constant misread signals you send out. Plus, I’m sick of girl friends who aggravate each other with “What do you think this means?” after receiving yet another bizarro text or email, or not receiving same, after what they thought was a fun, sexy date. Come on, guys: Be clear, be decent, be honest. Here’s how.

Not feeling it? Say so.
You had a nice time, the sex was OK, and then in the morning it all just flies away in the general direction of meh. So, as she leaves, why are you telling her that it would be fun to hang out together next weekend? It won’t be fun to hang out together next weekend. Because you won’t be there! Say nothing except that you’re going to call, then call and say that you’re not feeling it.

Make your intentions clear
Remember: When inviting a girl out, do make it clear if this is a date or not. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard hilarious horror stories about one person being on a date and the other being completely clueless that it was a date. One easy way to clear to clear up the confusion is to say, “Wanna come on a date with me to…?”

Let it go
Were you mad at me two Thursdays ago after what happened at that party? Did we already have a fight about it? Yeah? So why are you bringing it up again? We made up, remember?!

Mean it.
Listen: When you say you’re not interested, we hear you. We really hear you, and we’re making a mental note to leave you alone instead of stalking you like a hungry hyena. Don’t call back the next time your schedule clears up — unless we have a very clear understanding that this is just for sex and giggles.

“I’ve decided to get back together with my ex but I would still love to tie you up.” Whaa?! Here’s some free editing help for you: “I’ve decided to get back together with my ex but I would still love to tie you up.” You’re welcome.

Image courtesy of Helen Frixione.


7 thoughts on “Men, Stop Confusing Your Women”

  1. Absolutely agreed.  But it goes both ways.  I have the same complaint of women who: a) don’t want to say when it’s over; or b) have no interest in the first place.   I won’t speak for all guys, but I can tell you that many of us actually prefer gentle bluntness.  “I’m not feeling the chemistry” does work.  How can we argue?  (And by the way, I’ve said the same thing to a woman I dated.  She was a little surprised but appreciated the honesty.)

  2. What about when she says “I’m fine”. What the hell does that mean. Whenever I heard them, it was like, here we go again. There is nothing more confusing than those two little words!

  3. “Although being honest may make you seem like a jerk, at least it won’t make the girl go psycho on you…”

    Really? I think this is often the exact problem. Men learn to disguise their true feelings and intentions because when we say what we’re really thinking, women go psycho. Or make us feel like jerks. For example, based on someone’s reactions to other things I’ve said, I know if come out with: “I’m not interested enough in you to want anything serious, but it would be really fun having sex with you for a while,” you start crying and walk out right now. So I reach for the next best societally acceptable bullshit I can think of, something like: “I really like you, but let’s take it slow” (or even worse: “I’m not looking for a relationship right now…” brrrrrrr) You take that as wanting to be deep and romantic, and then later wonder why I’m acting in such a confusing way. I don’t mean to put it all on women, but cultivating honest communication takes hard work by both sides — you can’t just demand pure honesty, you have to show that it will be accepted for what it is.

  4. ok Serriously althought well intended these articles only half hit any truth. While some women hear you some don’t just like guys. Most of the points made would be great if always true , but not even close. Men and women will never break the understanding each other barrior and thats fine with me. Be true to yourself and screw the rest is the best plan. Even in the best or worst sinario’s you will get what you deserve.

    And should add these articles are entertainment if nothing more.

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