How To Be The Perfect Groom

Our series, A Guy’s Guide to Getting Hitched, continues.

On the big day, all eyes may be on your bride, but as that cheesy ad reminds us, she’ll be looking at you. And you’ll want it to be a look of adoration, not a glare of hostility. Score points – and avoid castration! – by following these tips to becoming the perfect groom.

1. Have an opinion.
To a bride in the throes of wedding planning hysteria, tiny decisions take on cosmic importance: White or cream envelopes? Steak au poivre or filet mignon? If she asks you to weigh in, offer a decisive take.

2. But not too much of an opinion.
Often, just a few moments after asking your opinion, she’ll harshly overrule you. Let it go.

3. Manage your groomsmen.
She shouldn’t be chasing down your buddy’s inseam measurement; take care of your fellas long before the wedding. Entrust the rings to someone responsible – not the guy who left his wallet at the strip club on your stag.

4. Don’t drink and wed.
Downing a little Dutch courage before the ceremony might seem wise, but take it easy. You don’t want to get so courageous that you forget your vows (or end up driving the porcelain bus).

5. Nail the toast.
It may seem like the hardest speech you’ll ever make; in fact it’s the easiest. Forgo your trademark sarcasm, be sincere, and praise the bride. She’ll instantly forget everything you screwed up during the wedding planning.

6. Chill.
You’ve been stressing for months leading up to the biggest and possibly most expensive day of your life. Stop now. It won’t help anymore. Enjoy yourself.

Image courtesy of Miss Margaret.

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  1. As a clergyman, I would add that it is very important to speak up about decisions related to the marriage service. Moreover, in “managing the groomsmen,” it is important for all attendants to be at a wedding rehearsal and please be on time. Finally, never drink before the wedding service. Your friendly clergyman or woman just might refuse to officiate at the service. You have to be not only sober enough to make your vows to each other, it is a legally binding document that you are signing.

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