Last week, our resident book slut Jowita Bydlowska had readers bookmarking her column “No books, no booty.” “A gentleman who reads has 30 per cent more chance of fornicating with a female of his choosing,” she wrote. Further, “I would not do you were there no books on your walls or at least a Kobo loaded with stuff.” Interested in further upping your odds with the ladies? Go beyond books and start thinking beds, blossoms, hell, even blades (for cooking, that is). Here, some simple household touches that’ll have her touching you.
Look at your walls. Are they accented with familiar prints from your university poster sale, unique objects d’art or nothing at all? Blank walls = blank personality. And while Kandinsky’s Farbstudie Quadrate can brighten up any room, it suggests you have a freshman’s budget for art. And, no, losing the pushpins and framing it doesn’t make it any better. Walking into a man’s place for the first time and seeing an intriguing piece of art is a real turn-on. It shows you’re creative and cultured, and have an appreciation for beautiful things. Bonus points if you can offer an interpretation of the piece and some information on the artist. Start building up your collection. If there’s another piece around the corner, there will likely be another visit from her.
There’s something about a man with a green thumb. He’s down-to-earth, nurturing and eco-conscious — and that’s hot. Subconsciously, most women are looking for a man who would be a good father (don’t freak out; it’s a natural instinct) and keeping a plant alive and thriving is an early indicator that you may have what it takes. Having plants in your home also adds colour and texture, making it more attractive and showing you take pride in your space. Plants also improve air quality, by adding oxygen and humidity, which encourages heavy-breathing activities.
New Duvet and Sheets
You threw out your old sheets with your old girlfriend, right? If not, please do so now. No woman wants to sleep in the love nest you made with your ex. Gross. A fresh relationship deserves fresh sheets. Okay, you don’t have to run out to Bed, Bath and Beyond if your sheets look new. Just remember the four Cs: clean, crisp, cozy and coordinated. You want her to see herself in your sheets. A man with an attractive and inviting bed is proven to be better in bed.
A Sharp Knife
And other nice kitchen things you actually know how to use. An appreciation for gourmet cuisine will further your chances of fornicating with her, and if you know how to whip up paella in your kitchen, you’re just that much closer to your bedroom. Being well-endowed in the kitchen suggests, obviously, that you like to cook, which tells us you’re creative, patient and dexterous. If you do it right, creating fine food and enjoying it together is tasty foreplay. She’ll devour it — and you. And if there are cookbooks on your shelves? Just remember: Books = booty.
Image courtesy of The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.