It’s that time of the year again. That time of year when your coupled-off friends are off doing snuggly, cutesy couple holiday things together, like ice skating and kissing under the mistletoe, and there you are, single, on the couch, watching The Holiday for the millionth time (editor’s note: or Die Hard 2).
This time of year can be a drag when you don’t have a significant other to toast marshmallows with, or, you know, have sex with. But before you go off rattling off a drunken version of “Blue Christmas”,I recruited Shannon Tebb, a Toronto matchmaker and dating expert, on how you can survive and thrive the holiday season as a single dude.
You’re at your folks house and your mom keeps nagging you with the familiar, “Why are you still single?” or “Are you ever going to settle down?”
This case calls for a little ingenuity and a lot of positivity, according to Tebb. “Reply with a positive response, like, ‘a whole New Year is just around the corner,’” Tebb suggests. Change the subject seamlessly by keeping the spirit high and bringing the family together with traditions. “Sing Christmas carols as a family, play board games, head outside for a snowball fight, whatever the family does to keep a bright cheery mood,” Tebb says. It’s important to remember that no matter how annoying your mother is, she means well. “When your family pries into your personal life, you need to keep in mind that they only want the best for you and they don’t want you to give up on the idea of finding that amazing partner.”
You’re going to the work party solo amongst a whole lotta plus-ones.
Tebb wants you to know that going solo to your office party isn’t really that big a deal. “It shows strength, confidence and gives you the opportunity to work the room and chat with coworkers without having to babysit someone,” Tebb says. Plus, “I’m sure his coworkers already know his relationship status.” Your relationship status is basically as embarrassing or pathetic as you make it out to be. “No need to stay at home and watch sad movies,” Tebb says. “Unless it’s the day after the holiday party and you’re tied to the couch. Try and watch Christmas classics that are funny rather then love stories.” Yes, that does mean The Holiday (editor’s note: or, provided your sense of humour, Die Hard 2).
You’re out having some Christmas cheer with your coupled friends. Now what?
Well, first of all, you’re going to go out because you’re not allowed to watch The Holiday any longer (editor’s note: yippee ki-yay!). Secondly, you’re going to have fun. “Chat about your holiday plans, your next trip or chat about funny stories with recent dates,” Tebb says. “Rather than taking a sad approach to being single, you must remain positive.” To make your outing less third wheel-ish, suggest going to a concert, skating or attending a holiday party. Also, “this way it gives you a chance to scope out other singles in a busier environment.”
It’s New Year’s Eve and you don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight.
You want to be proactive before the clock strikes twelve on December 31 if you’re freaking out about a kiss, or lack thereof. “Schedule something with other single buddies,” Tebb suggest. “Decide if you want to head out of town or attend the hottest party in the city. Rolling in with single buddies will help you feel supported and grateful to be with amazing friends.” As for the New Year itself, Tebb says to use that time for a little self-reflection when it comes to your dating approach in 2015. “If online dating isn’t working out, then source out a matchmaker that you’re comfortable working with,” she says. “Also, ask questions about yourself. Are you looking your best? Perhaps it’s time to hire that personal trainer. Are you still loving your job? Maybe research a new company to work for. Ensure that you are creating a living environment that brings you happiness. When you feel good, great things come your way.” Including that perfect partner.
You want to just feel good being a single. So, how do you do that?
There’s a ton to be grateful for as a single guy. “You can save money and spoil yourself rather than shopping for lavish gifts for a partner,” Tebb says. “You can salvage your freedom and enjoy it while it lasts.” Of course bedding a lot of women isn’t the only thing that’s great about being single. It’s also about bettering yourself. “Offer to babysit one night for a couple that doesn’t get out much. Pay it forward as a single dude and get something back for the future.” Like a hot plus-one at next year’s work holiday party.
Brianne Hogan is a freelance writer based in Toronto, something of a humorist, and considers herself more Bridget Jones than Samantha Jones. Though she won’t reveal which parts, she will admit to liking emotionally unavailable men and drinking lots of wine. You can follow her on Twitter @briannehogan.
Photo courtesy of flickr.