The Truth About Emotional Infidelity

Cheating, most DailyXY readers agree, is easy to define; according to 87 percent of you, if you smooch another, you’ve crossed the line. It’s easy to overlook a subtler but perhaps more insidious form of infidelity: Emotional cheating. Here, how to identify it – and how to deal with the damage.

Crushing: You’ve got a thing for your barista. You linger over espresso, and chat about all sorts of things. Except, somehow, your girlfriend or wife.
Damage Control: Assess whether your crush is actually a red flag for your relationship. If not, say nothing about the flirtation and find yourself a new coffee shop.

Consoling: You still care about your ex’s welfare – and after a hard breakup, she needs some comfort. So you’re there, with a shoulder to cry on. But she’s vulnerable. And now, single. Betrayal beckons.
Damage Control: Casually mention the incident to your lady. This will show you’ve got nothing to hide. Ultimately, you’ll have to say no to sobbing exes; you can only be one woman’s cuddle buddy.

Texting / Emailing: You’ve entered into an ambiguous digital back-and-forth with another. Emoticons may have been used.
Damage Control: Even if you’ve said nothing inappropriate, your girlfriend would be upset to discover the correspondence. And she will. Delete the messages and log off.

Promising: Before meeting your girlfriend you’ve established an “If the time/place works out…” arrangement with an ex.
Damage Control: It’s probably harmless, but if you see the old flame, tell her you’re happily coupled. And ditch your backup plans. It’s only fair to your current squeeze.

Image courtesy of Baala.


2 thoughts on “The Truth About Emotional Infidelity”

  1. I just have one commend. If someone is so incline to spend lots of time wit his ex, shouldn’t he be trying to work things out with his ex, instead of leading another woman on.

    In any case, unless you’re married with kids developing strong attraction/crush/interest in someone else is a red flag and a good reason to examine your feelings and decide whether you still want to stay with your current significant other or would it be better (for both) if you go separate ways and you pursue new relationships.

  2. ‘Casually mention it to your lady.’
    Clearly the author has ever been the recipient of a woman’s wrath.
    There is nothing to be gained by ‘sharing’, just hurt… avoidable hurt. Do yourself a favor when you wander… shut up.

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