Summer is over now!
You read it here so it must be true. Summer is not over, I’m just mean. I apologize. Don’t get mad, have a beer and relax. And while you’re having it, go and sit somewhere on the patio and enjoy the view. The summer 2012 fashion seems to involve everything see-through and while this doesn’t quite work for you, it seems to work out quite well on women – I swear, this year I saw more girl nipples than on a European beach. Which brings me to the point of this column: the beautiful women are here, the summer is still relatively young, you’re sitting on a patio with your drink and you’re brutally aware of the fact that you haven’t hooked up with anyone yet. I want to make up for my meanness now when I told you that the summer was over and give you some ideas on how to make summer fling a possibility and where to meet girls:
Public Swimming Pools
If you haven’t considered them because “gross” and “children,” please know that it’s not just that: many city girls go there in groups to tan and dip their pretty, pedicured feet in the water.
Patios
Girls sit on patios because they hate men looking at them and bugging them. In Europe, guys pick up girls by ordering drinks for them or sending flowers (I know, how tacky). Women hate that kind of attention. No, we don’t. And we don’t hate sangria, either.
Parks
Don’t be a creep in a public park and sit there and just stare. Parks are tricky because sometimes people just want to go there to actually sit on the grass and read, but I think no girl will shoot you with a bazooka if you just walk up and say hi. (Trust me – a staring creep no matter how good-looking, is still a staring creep). If she’s annoyed she’ll probably go right back to her book, and that’ll be that. Don’t worry, you’ll live.
Public Beach
This is another version of a public swimming pool except that there’s nature. Plus you can usually smuggle some beverage that will help you look better, feel stronger, be surer. And girls love confident men. A word of warning: Don’t be a drunken idiot. No girl likes drunken idiots slobbering over them and harassing them on a beach (or in a park or on a patio).
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Image by Pixland.
