You’re careerist, and successful. Possibly, you’re still single. If it’s by choice, that’s fine; if not, here’s the likeliest factor: your bachelor pad. You don’t need to go all boutique hotel (though a woman wouldn’t try to dissuade you of such a plan), but you do need to make your place one where she would want to stay over. Take her refusal to visit your quarters as a cue to up the ante on personal standards of interior design and styling. Here, six simple fixes if you want your home life to be as busy as your office life.
Decent Espresso Machine
While caffeine isn’t everyone’s cuppa, chi-chi machines always impress. A shot of espresso or a cup of cappuccino — or, the mere capability of providing — will blind her with class. Top-quality coffee beans are another luxury that you cannot afford to scrimp on. That’s without mentioning the sheer convenience: She will not be pleased if she has to get dressed and go outside to get a morning fix. (If your goal is to move her along, then hide the beans.)
Fresh, Clean Linens
Look, she knows you’re bald-faced lying when you say you wash your sheets once every two weeks. Still, at the very least, (1) make the bed, (2) check that your fitted sheet is covering your mattress in its entirety, and (3) make sure that your duvet cover has no visible stains topside. A related comment, about towels: Few things put more of a damper on a sleepover than the stench of mildew — the only scent there should be Downy.
Yeah, yeah, she’s on the pill and you’re monogamous. Even so: Keep backup rubbers handy just in case she demands it. Don’t kid yourself (no pun intended): Fair or unfair, she always gets and sometimes chooses to make the decision in the moment.
Perfect entertainment if you want a movie marathon Saturday night… and more of the same on Sunday. After all, there’s nothing better than destroying an entire season of Arrested Development (do not even consider Dexter) while putting in time on the couch.
So, you’re one of those guys who rolls up his toothpaste tube until you’ve used every last drop. By all means, keep and finish that tube — but, for the duration of her visit, hide it. Hit the drugstore and stock up on all of the basics, including shampoo and conditioner; none of that 2-in-1 crap. Be sure to splurge on the fancy toilet paper. One-ply can be a return deal breaker.
You don’t need to go full curator, but you do need to make a statement that is artistic, at least in your living room and bedroom. No need to be concerned about finding and/or financing your look, because original modern art has never been more accessible and affordable than in the internet era. As with everything else on this list, if you’re motivated, you could effect this transformation in less than one week. For the longer-term, work on securing furniture from respected cachet manufacturers that can and should be name-dropped; if Ikea is part of your home, at least make sure that it’s never part of your conversation.
Image courtesy of Jason Jones.